Lunch

Boris is here to tell about lunch.

For lunch, Boris having sandwich of pickles, bologna, creamcheese, olives, cabbage and Russian bologna. Louis say Russian bologna make you grow tits out of asscrack, but that is just Louis charming way of speak. Russian bologna is very good and very bologna. Makes you grow up big and brave, like monster. So good for you it is hard to find in stores, because stores want to keep all of it for themself.

Boris is eating sandwich for lunch while playing with his new thing, which is binogulars. Ever since Boris get these, is fun. Looking out window is like funny television with no sounds. There is exciting show about fighting neighbors out one window, Boris watch this show when bored. Is funny show about old man eating soup out other window, always same and always funny when he is dropping soup and is old. But best show is out bathroom window, where neighbor is watching Spices channel all times.

Louis think Boris use binogulars too much, he bang on door for Boris to get out of bathroom so Louis does not die from not crapping. Boris yell "You cannot come in! Boris is playing with his thing!" which make Louis swear lots and go to next-door bathroom. Louis can do this because next-door lock is broken from Louis kicking door last week, when him have bad to crap and Boris is seeing Sorority Sweethearts at same time.

Boris think best show would be to have binogulars in old man eating soup apartment, because from there Boris could see show of Louis kicking in door to crap while next door neighbors is eating dinners. And also, Boris could have soup to eat with Louis kicking show, very good idea. Two good things at one time, is fun. And Boris like soup, especially Russian Pringle soup which is Boris special crunchy recipe.

So like Boris say, is eating lunch and looking at binogulars. What a way to spend the time after noons. Then, who knows it? Exciting thing happen! Is like lucky lotto day for Boris to see exciting thing through binogulars. Boris looking at dog eating roasted beef sandwich on street when oh no, Man is hit by car. Boris thinks this is holy shit. There goes Man in suit stepping in street, and there goes car running over him like he is street. Such things Boris has never seen. Exciting, yes, but of course sad too. Because when Boris see such things he squeeze sandwich in excited way, and sandwich insides go on Boris pants.

This might seem funny part of Boris story, but is serious. Why is serious? Answer is Boris wearing favorite pants for binogular time. Yes yes, not smart plan for Boris at dressing time. But seem like good idea when Boris not wearing pants and favorite pants are waiting. Hard for Boris to argue then.

Favorite Boris pants is not like normal pants. Is nice. Is also purple like big McDonalds monster, but with stripes like monster does not have. So Boris is sad to think of pickles on pants. Sad math is pickles plus creamcheese equals goodbye favorite Boris pants. Such things always leave mark forever like bird wipes ass on Boris pants. And Boris not wanting to give such laughs to pants-lookers.

Now Boris must pick new pants to be favorite. Is busy life, no? But is O.K. Secret is Boris like rat race of life. Not to worry, when race is too exciting Boris take nap. Nap make Boris wake up happy, except on bus, when Boris wake up in strange town. But strange town is good for to make friends and find binogulars, so is O.K.

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