|   Pink is Not for Men
I want to take a moment to apologize to my faithful reader body, every last loser, pimp, pervert, bum, slob and drip. I know you've all been anxiously awaiting the thrilling conclusion of "(7/4/05)
Mickey Does Vegas
Well well, welcome back to the chaotic worm fart that is my life. I don't know what it is that's out there, call it God, Buddha or the force, whichever stirs your Kool-Aid, but I have discovered that it has a sense of humor.
Over the past couple... (4/18/05)
I, Robot Builder
Well well well, I have come to learn a few things about myself in these past few weeks, but nothing more important than this: I will never smoke PCP again. Unless it's free.
I've spent the past six weeks roaming the Earth, which later turned out... (4/18/05)
Yuppies Aren't Real
I would like to take this opportunity to express to the world my view about Yuppies. I hate them. Bottom line. Thanks for listening. Yuppies would be our idea of cool if we lived in a world Bill Gates had farted out of his ass. That's what he... (9/6/04)
Midgets Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be
From the first day I pulled Nevil out of my duffel bag and locked him in the trophy case in my living room, I thought that I was pretty damn clever for acquiring a midget. I pictured all kinds of everyday tasks that he could perform for me; it would... (5/17/04)
This is Mickey Hanes!
Good morning world, I am the one and only Mickey Hanes. Who the hell is Mickey Hanes, you ask? Well, that's a question for the ages, but it's not important right now. What is important is how I came to learn of the commune. I was quietly... (3/8/04)
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Quote of the Day“The true measure of a man is four inches, four and a quarter. That's flaccid. No joke.”
-Samuel "Big" JohnsonFortune 500 CookieTry to remember every dog has his day, and Tuesday, it's yours, Rags. Looks like you being selected as Oprah's Book of the Month wasn't the last bad thing that'll happen to you. You still haven't taken down the Christmas decorations? Son of a bitch.
Try again later.Top Mike Tyson Hotel Brawl Excuses| 1. | Men insulted Tyson's little yappy dog. | | 2. | "Dude reminded me that I raped his sister." | | 3. | Tyson heard bell ring in lobby. | | 4. | Victim reminded Mike of "Little Mac." | | 5. | Men taunted Tyson with their delicious-looking ears. | |
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