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08/26/26   
That noise inside your skull
Pink is Not for Men
I want to take a moment to apologize to my faithful reader body, every last loser, pimp, pervert, bum, slob and drip. I know you've all been anxiously awaiting the thrilling conclusion of "(7/4/05)

Mickey Does Vegas
Well well, welcome back to the chaotic worm fart that is my life. I don't know what it is that's out there, call it God, Buddha or the force, whichever stirs your Kool-Aid, but I have discovered that it has a sense of humor. Over the past couple...  (4/18/05)

I, Robot Builder
Well well well, I have come to learn a few things about myself in these past few weeks, but nothing more important than this: I will never smoke PCP again. Unless it's free. I've spent the past six weeks roaming the Earth, which later turned out...  (4/18/05)

Yuppies Aren't Real
I would like to take this opportunity to express to the world my view about Yuppies. I hate them. Bottom line. Thanks for listening. Yuppies would be our idea of cool if we lived in a world Bill Gates had farted out of his ass. That's what he...  (9/6/04)

Midgets Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be
From the first day I pulled Nevil out of my duffel bag and locked him in the trophy case in my living room, I thought that I was pretty damn clever for acquiring a midget. I pictured all kinds of everyday tasks that he could perform for me; it would...  (5/17/04)

This is Mickey Hanes!
Good morning world, I am the one and only Mickey Hanes. Who the hell is Mickey Hanes, you ask? Well, that's a question for the ages, but it's not important right now. What is important is how I came to learn of the commune. I was quietly...  (3/8/04)



Quote of the Day
“1.327493 is the loneliest number. Technically.”

-Inglebert Thomas, Professor of Mathematics
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will quit smoking, but only in hospital nurseries. One step at a time, baby. You will finally lose that unwanted 50 pounds, thanks to a fortuitous kidnapping. The bank won't be your only withdrawal this week, drugnuts. You will believe everything you read.


Try again later.
Top Iraqi Gratitude Slogans
1.I love America and dying!
2.USA! Broil in hell, USA!
3.All the beautiful shooting!
4.God Bless This Rubble
5.Sweet, legless liberation!