|   Pink is Not for Men
I want to take a moment to apologize to my faithful reader body, every last loser, pimp, pervert, bum, slob and drip. I know you've all been anxiously awaiting the thrilling conclusion of "(7/4/05)
Mickey Does Vegas
Well well, welcome back to the chaotic worm fart that is my life. I don't know what it is that's out there, call it God, Buddha or the force, whichever stirs your Kool-Aid, but I have discovered that it has a sense of humor.
Over the past couple... (4/18/05)
I, Robot Builder
Well well well, I have come to learn a few things about myself in these past few weeks, but nothing more important than this: I will never smoke PCP again. Unless it's free.
I've spent the past six weeks roaming the Earth, which later turned out... (4/18/05)
Yuppies Aren't Real
I would like to take this opportunity to express to the world my view about Yuppies. I hate them. Bottom line. Thanks for listening. Yuppies would be our idea of cool if we lived in a world Bill Gates had farted out of his ass. That's what he... (9/6/04)
Midgets Aren't All They're Cracked Up to Be
From the first day I pulled Nevil out of my duffel bag and locked him in the trophy case in my living room, I thought that I was pretty damn clever for acquiring a midget. I pictured all kinds of everyday tasks that he could perform for me; it would... (5/17/04)
This is Mickey Hanes!
Good morning world, I am the one and only Mickey Hanes. Who the hell is Mickey Hanes, you ask? Well, that's a question for the ages, but it's not important right now. What is important is how I came to learn of the commune. I was quietly... (3/8/04)
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Quote of the Day“Get out of my way, you're crapping up my genius, dumbnuts.”
-Ayn RandyFortune 500 CookieAll of those great things we said were going to happen to you last week? Yeah, sorry, we had you mixed up with your brother. You're fucked. Try parking your car at the far end of the lot and walking this week: everyone finds the way you jiggle when you walk highly amusing. Your friends and the packaging aren't lying: that's not toothpaste. Did you really think you were going to get away with naming your son Pringles? This week's lucky ass creams: Vaseline Intensive Hair, Ditch the Itch Ultra, Smooth Movers Hibiscus Scent, Baby's Ass in a Bottle, Johnson & Johnson No More Flaming Mass of Ground Hamburger Hemorrhoid Salve.
Try again later.Best Sellers| 1. | The Bridges of Macon County, Georgia
Bobby Ray Poker | | 2. | The Lord of the Tacky Pimp Rings
J.Z.Z.Z. Toolking | | 3. | Mary Contrary, Are You on the Rag Today?
Dr. Soobst | | 4. | Oprah's Book Club Can Eat Me
Jonathan Franzen | | 5. | I Sure Miss the Cold War
Tom Clancy | |
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