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Obama's Self-Approval Rating Hits Record LowSeptember 16, 2011
Washington, D.C.
AP
President Obama, seen here with self-polling numbers beginning to tick upward at the thought of some delicious rhubarb pie
A
little more than a year away from the next presidential election, and with a trio of Republican contenders searching for signs of weakness, the president received more bad news when his approval rating among adult male Obamas hit an all-time low.

Poll experts, and not the fun kind who strip, say this revelation comes at a crucial time for the president, who has not even officially accepted his party's nomination for re-election yet. With his self-approval showing startlingly low numbers, it leaves a second term for President Obama in doubt.

The latest statistical information comes from a CNN poll on how well the president was addressing the nation's problems. Among all voters, regardless of age, gender, race, political leanings, and being the president or not, O...Read more...


Northwest balks at union strike; watch out for falling planes

Alec Baldwin Records Devastating Voice Mail Message for Shooter

Report: Guns inappropriately classified as food by oil-for-food program

Long National Nightmare Finally Over: Andy Griffith Dead



February 4, 2002

Click for Biography

Open Up Your Wallets, Corporate Greed-Hounds

Recently I became aware of the completely bogus trend of huge corporations purchasing the naming rights to sports arenas all over the country. Qualcomm Stadium, MCI Arena, Depends Dome, Enron Field, Pepsi Center, McDome Deluxe, Fleet Center, Sta-Free Stadium, Arco Arena, Staples Center, Ex-Lax Arena, Bank One Ballpark, Anusal Arena and Joe's Crab Shack Stadium all blot the national sports landscape with their stinky names. And these are only the most obvious examples; some other crafty executives have even slipped their company names in under our collective radar. Did you know Coors Field was actually named for the beer? Neither did I. Crafty bastards. I thought that was the team name, like the noises doves make. And yeah, I thought that was a pretty candy-assed name for a baseball team, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. Just look at the Boston Butterfly Kisses.

One faithful reader was sharp enough to point out that this kind of thing has been going on for years, and that one needs to look no further than Wrigley Field for proof. And I'll be damned if the fabled home of the Chicago Cubans isn't the biggest stinker of the bunch, naming their stadium after a cheap line of plastic insect replicas aimed at gullible kids.

Many (at least one) readers of my column have written in, asking if I'm pissed off about this issue, and the crass commercialization of our culture. You're damned right I am! Where the hell was I when they were dreaming this stuff...Read more...


º Last Column: Sick and Tired
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March 18, 2002

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I Must Strongly Disagree With Myself

Friends and readers, it's always difficult to confront someone with an opposing opinion, and this is no exception. Something I've read has outraged me and I must stand and take issue with it, even if the author is myself.

Loyal followers of this column or those who simply read the headlines will no doubt know the past column written by yours truly spoke very harshly of myself and, in fact, wished repeatedly for me to "be dead." I can't tell you how offended I was when I finally read it again last night.

I'm sure I was going through a difficult time when I sired such a column, but is that any excuse? I dare say it is not. My high journalistic standards apparently evaded me for some period while I churned out tripe the likes of which I have never seen. I expected that from other journalists, but not from Rok Finger.

And the continuous use of filthy language? Insulting. Sure, I engage in a tasty dash of profanity once in a while, but I try to restrict how much of that sees print. I can't believe Rok Finger would sink to the levels of say, commune columnists, to write such unimaginative drivel. Are "fuck" and "shit" any better than saying "procreate" and "pinch one out"? No. If Rok Finger thinks it is, maybe Rok Finger shouldn't be given free reign to write whatever he pleases.

As for all these repeated references to death and the desire to die… well, Mr. Finger, I hope I'm prepared to put my money where my mouth is. If I...Read more...


º Last Column: I Wish I Was Dead or Otherwise Incapacitated
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Quote of the Day
“All the world's a stage, and unfortunately everyone's doing improv and they think they're so fucking funny. But you know what? LAME.”

-Bill Shacksperd
Fortune 500 Cookie
Top dentists all agree: You need teeth, so in short, allow the gargantuan redneck arguing over who did that "Life is a Highway" song to win the disagreement. Sometimes life feels like a TV show, and this week it feels like Red Shoe Diaries—the nudity is all too brief and all your sex will be simulated. Taste taser, motherfucker. Lucky moods are alright, not too bad/you?, feelin' frisky, and I seriously can't go on living no more.


Try again later.
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3."Pin the Paternity Suit on Lil Duncan's Babydaddy" Home Game
4.Boris Utzov Guide of English Slang
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Last IssueLast Issue’s Lead News Story

North Korea Pissed Their Real-Life Hunger Games Nowhere Near as Popular as Movie

View Past Columns
BY Davidson Estherhouse
3/18/2002
Lincoln & Napoleon
Lincoln sat at the end of the large banquet table of Napoleon's. It's a shame, he thought quietly, I could feed every hungry slave in the Union for the price of this fancy French table.

"You are quiet, Monsieur Lincoln," said Napoleon, his eyes barely peeking above the other end of the table. "Henri!" he shouted to his butler with a clap of his hands. "Fetch the phone books for my seat!"

"You need not do that, Henri," Lincoln said in his heavy, somber voice. "I won't be staying for dinner."

"I sense you do not like me very much, Monsieur Lincoln," said Napoleon, and he was right. Lincoln had only come for one thing—military expertise. Perhaps there was something he could find out from Napoleon, some secret to his success that would help end the...Read more...

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