the commune: Contents

Time of Healing
It's been a rocky road since last year's election. Some would say we live in a different world now, even though we've agreed to keep calling it the same name. It's common knowledge the country has been split in half since the electionâ€”and I've,...  (4/4/05)

Premature Termination
I'm happy to inform everyone following my adventures I have made some headway in my efforts to redesign how the commune is managed. Red Bagel finally agreed to cut some of the office fat and fire three employees whose jobs are redundant. Of course,...  (1/19/04)

Curriculum Vitae
I've spent more than a few years climbing the corporate ladder, ladies and gentleproles. Not meaning I'm no good at it. It's common to spend 16 years to reach an Office Manager position at a low-traffic website. I believe I still am Office Manager,...  (11/24/03)

The Acting-Editor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea
I open this column with a firm and hearty, "Thanks, dicks." This is not directed to you dicks reading at home, but to the dicks who neglected to inform me Red Bagel had returned and the commune staff was operating normally under his rule again. I...  (7/7/03)

Quote of the Day

“A little bad taste is like a dash of paprika. A lot of bad taste, like a grinder full of cayenne pepper. And doing that annoying Cajun guy impression while doing anythingâ€”well, that's just beyond bad taste.”

-Dirty Parkbench

Fortune 500 Cookie

In the annals of history, there has always been one man who laughs uncontrollably whenever someone says "annals"â€”that's your legacy. Turn up the heat this week, 'cause that fucking turkey has been in the oven since Saturday. If you can't beat them, join them, and show them what real losers they are for accepting you into the group. Lucky bastards this week are Tom Monroe, Pete Gelbart, Judy Simon, and that son you're pretty sure is living in Winnipeg now.

Try again later.

Best Selling Albums

1.	Come On Britney Spears
2.	I Keep Returning Like Freddy Krueger Madonna
3.	Passable Generic Metal Creed
4.	Farting to Critical Raves Radiohead
5.	Fossils Aerosmith