Quote of the Day
“Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal. They have to, because let's face it—you're never going to support yourself as a fucking poet, cheech.”
-B.S. EliodeFortune 500 Cookie
Expect a big upturn in your finances when a bag of silver dollars dropped from a skyscraper nearly kills you. People flock to your show when The New York Times calls you "Stomp for people who wish Stomp would just fucking die already." The court case is decided this week and you now legally have bragging rights. Lucky meat substitutes: Soy, tofu, tofurkey, a McDonald's hamburger.
Try again later.Top 5 Reasons There's No Way That Asshole Can Win the Republican Nomination
1. | Too crazy/not crazy enough/not the right kind of crazy |
2. | Makes swing voters shit blood at the sound of his/her name |
3. | Once snorted cocaine off the belly of an underage Thai hooker who believes in big government |
4. | Has been photographed not trying to kill Obama with their bare hands |
5. | Can read |
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