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10/22/26   
French-kissing the Internet's pie-hole since 1999
Time of Healing
It's been a rocky road since last year's election. Some would say we live in a different world now, even though we've agreed to keep calling it the same name. It's common knowledge the country has been split in half since the election—and I've,...  (4/4/05)

Premature Termination
I'm happy to inform everyone following my adventures I have made some headway in my efforts to redesign how the commune is managed. Red Bagel finally agreed to cut some of the office fat and fire three employees whose jobs are redundant. Of course,...  (1/19/04)

Curriculum Vitae
I've spent more than a few years climbing the corporate ladder, ladies and gentleproles. Not meaning I'm no good at it. It's common to spend 16 years to reach an Office Manager position at a low-traffic website. I believe I still am Office Manager,...  (11/24/03)

The Acting-Editor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea
I open this column with a firm and hearty, "Thanks, dicks." This is not directed to you dicks reading at home, but to the dicks who neglected to inform me Red Bagel had returned and the commune staff was operating normally under his rule again. I...  (7/7/03)



Milestones
2000: Ramrod Hurley is hired as a commune correspondent after the failure of his startup internet company, www.poopoftheday.com.
Now Hiring
Extras. Positions available for extras in Boogie Nights 2. Minimum wage, lunch provided as well as SAG credit. Full frontal nudity required, well-endowed equipment or prosthetics a plus.
Top 5 Ways for a Fantatic to Honor Favorite Musician
1.Break into house; masturbate in the bathtub.
2.Nothing says "I love you" like your name in scar tissue
3.Dress like Hootie. Talk like Hootie. Be Hootie.
4.What the fuck—kill him so he can never make any more wonderful music.
5.Talk loudly at parties about how much better his early work was.