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04/26/26   
The genius machine has no off-switch
Time of Healing
It's been a rocky road since last year's election. Some would say we live in a different world now, even though we've agreed to keep calling it the same name. It's common knowledge the country has been split in half since the election—and I've,...  (4/4/05)

Premature Termination
I'm happy to inform everyone following my adventures I have made some headway in my efforts to redesign how the commune is managed. Red Bagel finally agreed to cut some of the office fat and fire three employees whose jobs are redundant. Of course,...  (1/19/04)

Curriculum Vitae
I've spent more than a few years climbing the corporate ladder, ladies and gentleproles. Not meaning I'm no good at it. It's common to spend 16 years to reach an Office Manager position at a low-traffic website. I believe I still am Office Manager,...  (11/24/03)

The Acting-Editor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea
I open this column with a firm and hearty, "Thanks, dicks." This is not directed to you dicks reading at home, but to the dicks who neglected to inform me Red Bagel had returned and the commune staff was operating normally under his rule again. I...  (7/7/03)



Milestones
2002: Poet Violet Tiara turns 16 and is a little disappointed by her gift of a Saturn when she had been hoping for a hammock of moonbeams or a tumor full of love.
Now Hiring
Director of Office Security. Traditional ideas of increasing manpower and investigating odd events not necessary. Must be able to design colorful charts and randomly pick levels of security intensity.
Top Secret Shames
1.Checked out own mom's ass
2.Own Taco Bell dog doll
3.Smarter than husband
4.Am Richard Simmons
5.Loved Battlefield Earth