the commune: Contents

Time of Healing
It's been a rocky road since last year's election. Some would say we live in a different world now, even though we've agreed to keep calling it the same name. It's common knowledge the country has been split in half since the electionâ€”and I've,...  (4/4/05)

Premature Termination
I'm happy to inform everyone following my adventures I have made some headway in my efforts to redesign how the commune is managed. Red Bagel finally agreed to cut some of the office fat and fire three employees whose jobs are redundant. Of course,...  (1/19/04)

Curriculum Vitae
I've spent more than a few years climbing the corporate ladder, ladies and gentleproles. Not meaning I'm no good at it. It's common to spend 16 years to reach an Office Manager position at a low-traffic website. I believe I still am Office Manager,...  (11/24/03)

The Acting-Editor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea
I open this column with a firm and hearty, "Thanks, dicks." This is not directed to you dicks reading at home, but to the dicks who neglected to inform me Red Bagel had returned and the commune staff was operating normally under his rule again. I...  (7/7/03)

Milestones

1977: Commune photographer Junior Bacon receives first camera as birthday present. Takes picture of sister in shower and promptly pawns camera to buy bag of grass.

Now Hiring

Exotic Bird and Trainer. Needed to entertain staff during deadline crunch. Ventriloquist routine a must. Off-color jokes strongly recommended.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	Six College Courses for Retards and Sorority Girls
2.	Tanks: Why Can't We Drive 'Em?
3.	Uncle Macho's Pure Gristle Hamburgers
4.	Music Piracy: Are You a Fucking Thief?
5.	Critic's Corner: The Sailboat My Husband Painted