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Rosie O'Donnell Show "So Gay"

March 18, 2002
Hollywood, CA
Mrs. Bird/Graphics Department
Graphic of talk show, outed by new book.
A
s fans of Rosie O'Donnell and people who will read anything know, a biography of the comedian and talk show host will hit the stores in April revealing many intimate facts about the familiar face everyone thinks they know so well. But there's one thing that you won't find in the book—that her show is gay.

That revelation is in a new book already on the shelves, and author Peter Herdingway is proud to scoop all other outlets with his non-fiction work, This Show's Gay: The Hard Truth About That Crap You Like.

"It's something a lot of us know about Rosie O'Donnell's talk show, but so few say it," says Herdingway, discussing his decision to publish the book. "It was something that needed to be said, and I figured making a nice sack of money doing so was the...Read more...


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January 27, 2012

Click for Biography

Ventriloquism For Dummies

Emil's Note: I know what you're thinking, loyal commune-ist: "Oh great, more recycled Finger columns from bargain bin porn mags." Frankly, I'm shocked you would think so cynically. You're wrong on that point as well, as this is BRAND NEW FINGER! It only seems recycled because that's part of his charm. Yes, I found Rok Finger once more, working in the most unexpected of places, as part of a nightclub act in Savannah, Georgia. Yes, now that I think about it, I suppose it was kind of expected. After much cajoling, and tender massage, I convinced our staid old tell-it-like-it-should-be columnist to volunteer a few more pages to remind us of better commune times. He isn't likely to move out of the Peach State yet, but this is almost as good as having him right here in the office! I'll just imagine that old creepy collectible Linda Hunt doll mom keeps down here is him until the real thing is in attendance. So enjoy fresh finger, good people…

My faithful readers, please be kind to me, as I'm a bit out of practice on ranting in typeface. But the Arab who owns the commune now assures me thousands of my fans are camped out in front of the building and will give no one any peace until they receive more of my motivational thoughts and harrowing true stories.

The god's honest truth is that I don't have much to write about. I have not been opining in a very long while, except on stage, and my life has become considerably boring since I earned my...Read more...


º Last Column: A Day That Will Live in Famy
º more columns


September 29, 2003

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Video Games Killed the Child Star

I can't wait to be a video game.

Didn't you hear already? I know most of you, I heard "web-literate" is the nice way to say it, are all about video games. So I figure most of you know. In case you didn't, I'm on my way to being a video game!

It's not for my outstanding columning, or for my world-famous role in Who's Your Daddy? Not even for my movies. I'm being rewarded long-lasting video game fame thanks to my part in the Metallichick comic book.

At long last, some lasting legacy for Clarissa Coleman! I don't have to worry about being locked into the '80s because of my stupid TV roles or movie appearances. I'll be timeless, like Ms. Pac-Man. Of course, it's just called Metallichick, but by the time I get done telling everybody it won't be a mystery who provides that unmistakable image for Metallichick, as well as the voice.

It took some convincing, I had to pull some strings with Nat Herschel, the creator of Metallichick, but I convinced him it was good for all involved if I did the voice for Metallichick, too. I told him I knew the character inside and out, I had devoted a lot of work to developing her personality—how she arched her back, why she stuck her ass out so far when holding her sword, all kinds of stuff. I even told him I came up with a backstory of how she keeps her costume in place, like they evolved past duct tape in the future she lives in. Of course, I didn't, but you got to be smooth with these...Read more...


º Last Column: Killer Coleman
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Quote of the Day
“We have nothing to fear but Fear itself. Fear is, of course, my rabid pit bull infected with the plague.”

-Franklin de Roosevelt
Fortune 500 Cookie
A watched pot never boils, and rust never sleeps. Doubt every instinct this week. A friend says sugar cookies turn you queer, for real. Lucky numbers 10, 10, 32, and 1.


Try again later.
Top 5 commune Features This Week
1.Twins: God's Mistake
2.HD-DVD, Blu-Ray Discs, Digital Tape, and 10 More Reasons to Stop Buying Movies
3.Uncle Macho's Bathtub Tequila
4.Touched by an Angel: "I Was Molested by Gabriel"
5.Critic's Corner: How You Personally Ruined Western Culture
Last IssueLast Issue’s Lead News Story

North Korea Pissed Their Real-Life Hunger Games Nowhere Near as Popular as Movie

View Past Columns
BY Jay Salinas
5/9/2005
Brandy is Dandy
Brandy is dandy
and wine is fine
but liquor is quicker
and vodka divine.

Gin makes you sicker
and slows down your ticker
when you pull down your knickers
so more freely to bicker.

Thunderbird
is a wonder, stirred
and Night Train
makes my veins strain
to carry some of that good stuff to my heart.

Bacardi?
Sounds like a party, Marty
best not to be tardy
if you want any more than a sip.

But far finer than beer
is Everclear,
the king of all the liquors.
And when you wake
you'll contemplate
why your ass is packed with Snickers.

And why a train
in the Alps? Complain
and with distain
I shall mock...Read more...

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