There Was No Way to Tell![]() December 9, 2002 ![]() he tree hopped down from the hill and he dashed through the field. The sun had been peeled and the clouds were as plump as a Chinaman's rump. A squirrel was asleep on a branch, he awoke with a blanch and he turned a stark white when the fright leapt up from his toes like a flash. A duck somersaulted through the grass, he was stoned off his ass on crackers. No, no, quackers! The duck thought this funny as he saulted. So he missed it when the tree ran by, though a fly saw it twelve dozen times because that's the kind of eyes God gave him, we surmise he got bored after five. When Luchas, who was chewing on a fig he had pulled from his wig, saw the tree he cashed it in. In the seat of his pants, where a platoon of ants quickly voted to find a new place to live. Sanchel thought the thing was a dream, so she couldn't help but scream when she saw the tree had ice cream. "A looper! A looper on the loose!" cried a tri-colored goose when he saw the tree streak nakedly by. "Ah-ah?" said poor Renal from the South as ham fell from his mouth. When the tree stepped on right-foot blue he forgot how to chew, his Twister picnic interrupted. The scientist was taken aback while on her date with Lumber Jack. "This cannot be! I must investigate!" But she for one ran too slow and too late, for Jack jumped up in a haste and with axe in had, he took up chase. This parade was quite the sight to see. A dozen lit out for the tree, sure that magical lands awaited. But when the tree dove trunk-first in the river, the group gave up with a toe-dip and a shiver, their curiosity abated. After all, let's not get carried away here. ![]() Quote of the Day“Don't stop eating out tomorrow. Don't stop, the fries will soon be here. The food'll be better than before. Breakfast is gone, breakfast is gone.”-Fleetwood MacDonalds Fortune 500 CookieDon't give up on your search for unconditional love this week: it's keeping the rest of us amused. Try finding a breakfast cereal that doesn't contain quite so much garlic. You will be arrested for taking off your pants this week, and assaulted by the stranger you take them off of. This week's lucky way- underground dance moves: The Drunken Swordfish, The Statue, Degenerative Disc Failure, The Herpe, Clap Your Thighs Say Ouch, The Go Home Alone, The I'm Getting My Ass Kicked This Ain't a Dance Move Please For the Love of God Help Me.Try again later. Least Popular |
| 1. | Fat kid re-enacting his favorite scenes from Citizen Kane |
| 2. | World of Warcraft online players expressing crippling loneliness they feel |
| 3. | Totally hot chick in skirt does routine car maintenance |
| 4. | Trailer for Julia Roberts' Mary Reilly 2 |
| 5. | Manson gets one side of Rubik's Cube all red |