![]() There Was No Way to Tell![]() ![]() December 9, 2002 ![]() he tree hopped down from the hill and he dashed through the field. The sun had been peeled and the clouds were as plump as a Chinaman's rump. A squirrel was asleep on a branch, he awoke with a blanch and he turned a stark white when the fright leapt up from his toes like a flash. A duck somersaulted through the grass, he was stoned off his ass on crackers. No, no, quackers! The duck thought this funny as he saulted. So he missed it when the tree ran by, though a fly saw it twelve dozen times because that's the kind of eyes God gave him, we surmise he got bored after five. When Luchas, who was chewing on a fig he had pulled from his wig, saw the tree he cashed it in. In the seat of his pants, where a platoon of ants quickly voted to find a new place to live. Sanchel thought the thing was a dream, so she couldn't help but scream when she saw the tree had ice cream. "A looper! A looper on the loose!" cried a tri-colored goose when he saw the tree streak nakedly by. "Ah-ah?" said poor Renal from the South as ham fell from his mouth. When the tree stepped on right-foot blue he forgot how to chew, his Twister picnic interrupted. The scientist was taken aback while on her date with Lumber Jack. "This cannot be! I must investigate!" But she for one ran too slow and too late, for Jack jumped up in a haste and with axe in had, he took up chase. This parade was quite the sight to see. A dozen lit out for the tree, sure that magical lands awaited. But when the tree dove trunk-first in the river, the group gave up with a toe-dip and a shiver, their curiosity abated. After all, let's not get carried away here. ![]() Quote of the Day“Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy, and in total compliance with puritan mores. All others will be stoned to death, just as soon as they wake up.”-Dan Franklin Fortune 500 CookieYou are the jovial type who would gladly eat shit and ask for more, which will serve you well in the coming year, what with the shovel fork you got for Christmas. But for the sake of Buddha, remember to pack a roll of Certs. Lucky numbers 33, 57, 89, 105.Try again later. Top Cruel New Rumors
![]() Through the Colon of a Whale A Gonit on a sled races home to his bed through the colon of a whale sleeping on a bed of shale snoring gently, without fail. Through corridors the green sled slid past hooks and nooks where blue snails hid by toreadors who long debated ... (12/9/02) The Girl Everyone Just Sort of Assumed Was Native American Here is a tale, well-learned, well-told, about a girl of fifteen years old. A girl nearly so old she could drive with pretty brown skin and a look in her eye. Between that and how she called the corn "maize" everyone thought her and Indian... (11/11/02) GET UP! "GET UP!" screamed the miter (a miniature mote) who'd grown up in the bottom of the back of a boat. "RISE!" cried the tiny little segmented man whose hat was bright purple, but his body was tan. "HUZZAH!" he repeated, at the top... (10/28/02) ![]() ![]() ![]() |