Fortune 5

October 29, 2001

Growing up with snowflake, one learned to drink their sap in the morning. There was no time for globe-girdling as we chased the bears though the jungle of oil refineries, then were eaten like pudding by Lyndon B. Johnson. "Let's get away from the sea!" I remember thinking. Robin sails home to tell the tale. "May this car bring you happiness," he begins. "It's rotunda is all you expect Japan to be. The sky is our home. The earth is our winding path. As the wheel spins, the pot forms clarified butter." Robin always speaks of butter as a mother would. He's prone to dream of beautiful maiden cats and lovely lands. He hates the sea. He says snowflake is too heavy for most tree limbs to support. Once again, he is right. Get a shovel.

You will find yourself at war with the sea. Try again later.

Quote of the Day

“The good die first. Then, the not-so good. Then the ugly. Strike that, the ugly should die first. Can I start again? If there are any good left, don't kill them yet, we've still got some uglies over here.”

-Billiam Swordswart

Fortune 500 Cookie

The next time you give a dog as a gift, why don't you try poking some holes in the cellophane, ay handyman? Here's something to chew on: gum. Remember: you can't hurry love, but you can get your ass in motion when you're blocking the express lane, chunky. This week's lucky ducks: Donald, Daffy, Dontrelle, Fukka.

Try again later.

Top 5 commune Features This Week

1.	Abe Lincoln: Tall Motherfucker
2.	Michael Jackson's Dating Tips
3.	The Dog Did It: A Dummy's Guide to Solar Wind
4.	Uncle Macho's Pepperoni Puree
5.	A Tedious Summation of All Your Flaws: Past, Present and Future

Fortune 4
From mammoths to giant ground sloths, they buried caches of precious materials-- radiocarbon, obsidian, jasper, Idaho and Anthony T. Bouldurian, hundreds of miles from the Rosetta Stone. The violet-crowned Nero, spanning Cyclopean passers-by, "grave... (10/1/01)

Fortune 3
There she is, coincidentally, the prime-time "wrong with this picture" barnstorming editor. Rich Galen. Disproportionate, particularly stark, India's timeless tableaux. Give her credit for exploited cable stations, broader bankers and Nigeria's oil.... (3/1/00)

Fortune 2
"Day to day gyrations are a sign of a good performing Georgi," said The Wise Men about Clifford's cunning. Clifford retorted: "Bark. Bark. Bark." ("The Buck is Bruised"). He tended to confuse Vietnam with reality. Because of Regan he ended up in the... (2/1/00)