Fortune 2

February 1, 2000

"Day to day gyrations are a sign of a good performing Georgi," said The Wise Men about Clifford's cunning. Clifford retorted: "Bark. Bark. Bark." ("The Buck is Bruised"). He tended to confuse Vietnam with reality. Because of Regan he ended up in the same motorcycle gang as Miss America and finally blah blah blah. The hills bragged about their alcoholic dog population, which had been deregulated and redegradated. Clifford had a plan to systematically steal Nixon's eyes. It was as personal as it was unprecidented. Luckily for Nixon, two of his four engine mounts were liquid-filled. Heh, dumb fucking dog.

You will find love in a new pastry drawer. Try again later.

Quote of the Day

“Let my nizzles go!”

-Moses Harper, on 19th Street

Fortune 500 Cookie

Iron lung, shmiron lungâ€”that guy had it coming. Don't bother with that waiting list for Oxfordâ€”Kentucky Fried Chicken College wants you now. It's fish or die again this weekâ€”same ol', same ol'. Lucky religions: Buddhism, Paganism, Mormonism, worshipping Isaac Hayes

Try again later.

Most Feared Cancers

1.	Expensive Pet Cancer
2.	Smellanoma
3.	Cancer of the Ugly
4.	Cancer of the Girlfriend's Tits
5.	Whatever Strom Thurmond Has

Fortune 1
There is a very tricky method for applying a neutral shadow to animal consciousness. If a lion could talk, it would be too low for humans to hear, but he would tell the story of the Greatest Elephant That Ever Lived. If we could hear him, which we... (1/1/00)