Fortune 2

February 1, 2000

"Day to day gyrations are a sign of a good performing Georgi," said The Wise Men about Clifford's cunning. Clifford retorted: "Bark. Bark. Bark." ("The Buck is Bruised"). He tended to confuse Vietnam with reality. Because of Regan he ended up in the same motorcycle gang as Miss America and finally blah blah blah. The hills bragged about their alcoholic dog population, which had been deregulated and redegradated. Clifford had a plan to systematically steal Nixon's eyes. It was as personal as it was unprecidented. Luckily for Nixon, two of his four engine mounts were liquid-filled. Heh, dumb fucking dog.

You will find love in a new pastry drawer. Try again later.

Quote of the Day

“'Tis a far, far better thing I do today than I have ever doneâ€¦ in fact, where I'm from, I'm kind of known as an asshole.”

-Cute Little Dickens

Fortune 500 Cookie

Remember to clean your earsâ€”a friend of ours died from not doing that, no shit. What time is it? Half-past beer-thirty. Always never forget to quit being scared to not ask questions.

Try again later.

Top Recent Mother Mary Appearances

1.	Wad of wet toilet paper, Gas station restroom floor, Houston TX
2.	Numerous, Mother Mary's Gift Shop, Albuquerque NM
3.	Fur pattern on Dalmatian's ass, Kingley OK
4.	Burrito Del Maria, Taco Bell Extra Value Menu
5.	Mary, Mary, ABC Thursdays

Fortune 1
There is a very tricky method for applying a neutral shadow to animal consciousness. If a lion could talk, it would be too low for humans to hear, but he would tell the story of the Greatest Elephant That Ever Lived. If we could hear him, which we... (1/1/00)