Fortune 3

March 1, 2000

There she is, coincidentally, the prime-time "wrong with this picture" barnstorming editor. Rich Galen. Disproportionate, particularly stark, India's timeless tableaux. Give her credit for exploited cable stations, broader bankers and Nigeria's oil. Cripped by hydrocephalus, 75 followers and their children let the sport ute pass me. Their height and high-mounted headlights wear you down. Christians sold their cars, typically, so I wear the blue outfit. The accordion player Alphonse is second fiddle, in 1992 he was the grand marshal of the Louisiana Swine Festival. Born a Jew, he survived his diary and described himself as a revolutionary, a minister without a portfolio. Miniature pattern envelopes open to reveal Democrats and fanciful murals among the Nazis. Ravaged by mental illness, Regulators fear network TV audiences and a good nursing home. Meanwhile, the Niger River just keeps reverberating.

You will become a casualty of the cocaine wars. Try again later.

Quote of the Day

“Christ on a bike! Did anybody else see that guy that looked just like Jesus Christ riding by on a bicycle a minute ago?”

-LeVonn Marthers

Fortune 500 Cookie

Last week was your best week; sorry we're late getting to you about that. From here on out, your life's gonna be shit on chips. Your dreams of becoming a major baseball star will be derailed this week by the fact that you couldn't hit a cow in the ass with a shovel. Stop using the term "Gay Bash," at once: it does not mean a fun party for homosexuals. This week's lucky Bings: Crosby, Chandler, Bada, cherries, the sound of a superball being shot out of an air cannon into an old woman's neck flap.

Try again later.

Top Mike Tyson Hotel Brawl Excuses

1.	Men insulted Tyson's little yappy dog.
2.	"Dude reminded me that I raped his sister."
3.	Tyson heard bell ring in lobby.
4.	Victim reminded Mike of "Little Mac."
5.	Men taunted Tyson with their delicious-looking ears.

Fortune 2
"Day to day gyrations are a sign of a good performing Georgi," said The Wise Men about Clifford's cunning. Clifford retorted: "Bark. Bark. Bark." ("The Buck is Bruised"). He tended to confuse Vietnam with reality. Because of Regan he ended up in the... (2/1/00)

Fortune 1
There is a very tricky method for applying a neutral shadow to animal consciousness. If a lion could talk, it would be too low for humans to hear, but he would tell the story of the Greatest Elephant That Ever Lived. If we could hear him, which we... (1/1/00)