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12/1/25   
The Burning Coal of Wisdom Crammed Inside the Anus of Truth

The Legendary Spot of Coco Hobari McSteve

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April 19, 2004
In a tree by the beach
lived a lecherous leech
named Coco Hobari McSteve.

McSteve believed
that a spot on his sleeve
held the secret the universe had pondered.

So anyone who wandered
by the tree or who squandered
a glance elsewhere was reminded.

That anyone who was blinded
certainly wouldn't have minded
if it was done by that beautiful spot.

He said it a little
and he said it a lot
He told when it was cold
and he told when it was hot
But very few listened
and even fewer cared
that the spot looked a lot
like a duck that was scared.

McSteve thought this important,
kind of scarily so
and if you walked by the ocean
he would surely let you know.
He had all kinds of stories,
two legends and a myth
that explained the deeper meaning
of the stigmata he lived with.

I traveled from a far-off land
West of Can and east of Hat
to find Coco McSteve
and the tree where he lived at.
I had heard the stories of this spot
and the enlightenment it brought
but when I finally spied it
I found that it did not.

I climbed up in that creaky tree
and crawled out on my knees.
And when I glanced that hallowed spot I
realized it was cheese.
Some kind of spray-can cheese
a fleck, borne of untidy eating.
And when I told McSteve my thoughts
he thought that I was cheating.
But with a lick and then a shrug
there was no doubt—he knew.
And with no further ado
he went on to contemplate his amazing shoe.



Quote of the Day
“It is a wise man who makes a career of providing quotes, for the dollar-to-word ratio is fantastic. Eat your heart out, novelists.”

-Beenjammin Lynn-Frank
Fortune 500 Cookie
You! In the yellow shirt! You’re going to have an awful week. Move along now. This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, but your lifetime ban from the municipal aquarium still applies. Those repressed childhood memories you’ve been having about animal abuse and a shady-looking construction site? That was Donkey Kong. Try eating something with at least 17 letters in it this week: mailboxes and Alpha-Bits don’t count. Your lucky dong accessories: ornaments, jingle bells, argyle cock sock, festive wreath, racing stripe, spare donut.



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