Boris is Too Old For This Shit

November 24, 2003

Boris love in movie Lethal Weapons when cop persons is saying "I am too old for this shit!" when him is supposed to do dangerous thing. Chief says for Crocket and Tubbs to go on adventure to stop karate guys from making money, and thing will have lots of yelling and fast cars, but Tubbs is too old for this shit. Him wants to stay home with footballs and house size of airport. But they do go on adventures anyway because Crocket lives in shitholes and does not want to go home. Which is good for movie because Tubbs Staying Home movie not so exciting.

This part so good is now Boris new saying. Whenever there is thing Boris doesn't not want to do, is time to say "Boris is too old for this shit." Like other day, Louis wants help to move fridge, to get back where Boris hides housekeys for safe keepings. Nope, sorry, Boris is too old for this shit. But then Louis has saying that Louis is too old to buy pizza for dinner, and so him does win battle of who person is too old to do things. Boris moves fridge and does have pizzas for dinner.

On other day cop person asks what Boris is doing with fishing pole in swimming pool, and Boris does not feel like explaining fishing so does tell cop person Boris is too old for this shit. Cop person does not like this thing and says him is too old not to give Boris wedgie, so Boris must explain how Snoopy fishing pole is for catching new dog, because Similar to Skippy did runs away during loud part of Lethal Weapons.

Cop person doesn't not like this, Boris thinks is because him wants special dancing dog for himself. So he does tell Boris is assjack who will never catch dog with such little fishing pole. Is okay, as Louis say opinion is like Eskimo.

Starting to think no persons does love this Lethal Weapons saying so much as Boris. So instead Boris does think to go visit old persons home, where all persons is too old for this shit and can relate to funny saying.

So Boris does go to tell old persons what to say, and is very good time. Boris explains about Boris is too old for this shit, and old persons does like to talk about such things. Old persons is too old for all things, and love to tell Boris about this. And old persons is right age to drive electric wheelchair and give Boris ride, so fun. Life in electric wheelchair is like very slow race with no finish. And old persons does love to watch TVs with Boris, though when Boris does put on Lethal Weapons show old persons are too old for this shit. Too bad but still fun to watch show about stopwatch and thing with crocodile hunter.

Old persons home is fun place with good pudding. But after few days Louis does come to take Boris away because Boris is not old enough for this shit.

Quote of the Day

“Don't run if you can walk. Don't walk if you can stand. Don't stand if you can sit. Don't sit if you can lie down. Don't like down if you can sleep. Don't sleep if you can be put into a medically induced coma. Don't be put into a medically induced coma if you can kick back in an iron lung and have machines shit for you. Don't do any of that if golf is on TV.”

-Lazy Larry Lisbaine

Fortune 500 Cookie

You're gonna die this week. Sorry we couldn't put a more clever spin on that. In the meantime, try pouring sugar on your cereal instead of milk. Fuck it, what's anybody gonna do about it now? If it's any consolation, almost everyone in the world doesn't know you're alive anyway. This week's lucky coffin models: Dirt Rocket III, Econo-Sarcophagus Jr, The Spruce Moose, Office Max Moving Box Model 223117, The Bobsled to Hell, Spring-Loaded Jokester's Delight, Seventh Generation Biodegradable Grandma Sack, foot locker in your ex-boyfriend's closet.

Try again later.

Most Troublesome Phrases for Adults Learning English

1.	Fuck, your mother!
2.	I love hauling oats/I love Hall 'n Oates
3.	I have subpoenas for your wife/I have some penis for your wife
4.	The day goes by/The dagos buy
5.	Each hit, they caught Zucker/Eat shit, gay cocksucker

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