Penny Candy

October 15, 2001

"In my childhood there was a penny-candy store on the corner, run by a rail-thin immigrant who was constantly in jail when the country was at war. I would stop by there with all my boyhood pals and we would plunk fat copper pennies on the counter and buy as much penny candy as we could afford.

One day I got my hand stuck in the penny candy jar, and I realized the only way I would be able to get it out would be to let go of some of that sweet, enticing candy. I thought how strange that I could barely fit the candy all in my hand and yet expected to be able to fit it all in my belly.

For the longest time, I couldn't decide if I had the heart to let all that penny candy go and just take what I could eat. Or if I'd hang onto it forever and maybe even grow old and walk around for the rest of my life with a penny candy jar on my clenched fist.

Then the immigrant came out of the bathroom and yelled for me to get my thieving unwashed hands out of the penny candy jar or he was going to grab his pistol. After that I was banned from the store."

Quote of the Day

“Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy, and in total compliance with puritan mores. All others will be stoned to death, just as soon as they wake up.”

-Dan Franklin

Fortune 500 Cookie

You are the jovial type who would gladly eat shit and ask for more, which will serve you well in the coming year, what with the shovel fork you got for Christmas. But for the sake of Buddha, remember to pack a roll of Certs. Lucky numbers 33, 57, 89, 105.

Try again later.

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