Darby

October 1, 2001

"Uncle Trey had a dog that we all liked a lot, a dog by the name of Darby. He was a small white dog with wiry hair, I think he was a Jack Russell terrier. Darby used to love to dance on his hind legs. He'd do that for hours on end; all you had to do was hold up your hand like you were giving him a treat and he'd dance. My sister Stephanie made him a tutu out of lavender chiffon, and every time we visited Uncle Trey, she'd put that tutu on Darby and make him dance around. That brought a smile to everyone's face, even Uncle Trey, who was known for not having much of a sense of humor.

The other thing that Darby did was bark and snap at water coming out of the hose. That, and dig in the yard. He was always digging under the fence and getting out. He'd dig a new hole under the fence at least once a week, and then go out and roam the neighborhood for hours until one of the neighbors called Uncle Trey and asked him to please put his damn dog back in the yard and not let him get out again. One time Uncle Trey came out in the morning and found a new hole under the fence, and the tutu that Stephanie had made for Darby stuck there. He got mad and swore, and when Darby finally decided to come home, Uncle Trey shot him.

But at least he let us bury him in the tutu that Stephanie had made."

Quote of the Day

“We'll meet again. You might say that's impossible, since people can only meet once, but they haven't factored in my patented time machine and early-onset Alzheimer's.”

-Capt. Don Spacegain, Year 3054

Fortune 500 Cookie

Now's the perfect time to launch your alternative news website. Thursday's haul proves your friend's theory that the Halloween is really the only lucrative time for trick-or-treating. For your information, he's going to shoot his old woman down 'cause he caught her messing 'round with some other man; you don't need to know everything. Lucky son of a bitch.

Try again later.

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2.	Oppressive communist computer chips frequently mocked in Japan
3.	Age-old rivalry involving some chick named Xiang Chao
4.	China invented overpopulation; Japan just copying us
5.	China jealous of slightly more freedom available in Japan

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