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01/26/26   
The next last big thing

Vase

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November 4, 1999
"Mom had this vase given to her in Great Aunt Mable's will and she loved it dearly. It sat on a wooden table in front of our picture window. I think it was from Japan. All I remember was the funny blue lines that decorated its pale, white surface. She told all of us kids never to touch that vase. I asked her if I could put things in it and she told me, 'Only on special occasions.'

Turns out finding three dozen night crawlers isn't a special occasion."


Quote of the Day
“History is written by Jonathan Winters.”

-Germaine "Double Dip" Proverb
Fortune 500 Cookie
For God's sake, don't climb up in that porcupine tree. Sorry, being optimistic still won't get you a discount on eyeglasses. Remember, "lambast" is neither a compliment nor a veterinary term. This week, you will find love where you least expected it: up the ass. Your lucky disguise: a giant plastic toucan.


Try again later.
John Kerry's Vision for America
1.Americans shouldn't be despised everywhere abroad; only France
2.Health care for each and every American with insurance
3.A chicken in every pot, and pot for everyone without a chicken
4.Make Affleck and J-Lo realize they're still in love
5.Sterilize all Bush males
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