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01/2/26   
We'll put this sword away when you tell us where the monkey is

Vase

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November 4, 1999
"Mom had this vase given to her in Great Aunt Mable's will and she loved it dearly. It sat on a wooden table in front of our picture window. I think it was from Japan. All I remember was the funny blue lines that decorated its pale, white surface. She told all of us kids never to touch that vase. I asked her if I could put things in it and she told me, 'Only on special occasions.'

Turns out finding three dozen night crawlers isn't a special occasion."


Quote of the Day
“No man is an island. But I have met several women I would like to live on for the rest of my life.”

-John Donne Juan
Fortune 500 Cookie
By the pricking of my thumb I have really fucked up my keyboard playing. Trust in a higher power this week—the Waffle King knows what he's doing. Why be merely happy when you could be shit-yer-drawers happy? The world is you oyster, which explains that nauseating fish smell you can't escape. Lucky hammers roofing, jack, ball peen, MC.


Try again later.
Top Unrevealed Bush Tax Cut Benefits
1.Paper currency disintegrates upon touching hands of lower classes
2.Top 1 percent of wealth holders can legally eat cloned dinosaur
3.Five new interns approved for every Democrat who votes for cuts
4.Third Star Wars movie legally required to be drastic improvement
5.Millions of tax dollars refunded to rich; T-shirts for poor
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