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01/18/26   
Like lamb on acid

Vase

bio/email
November 4, 1999
"Mom had this vase given to her in Great Aunt Mable's will and she loved it dearly. It sat on a wooden table in front of our picture window. I think it was from Japan. All I remember was the funny blue lines that decorated its pale, white surface. She told all of us kids never to touch that vase. I asked her if I could put things in it and she told me, 'Only on special occasions.'

Turns out finding three dozen night crawlers isn't a special occasion."


Milestones
1993: Ivan Nacutchacokov/Ivana Folger-Balzac honeymoon ends in stalemate.
Now Hiring
Patsy. Must be willing to take the fall for numerous state and federal offenses. Should bear a passing resemblance to Red Bagel, Omar Bricks or Rok Finger. Immunity to electrocution a plus.
Top Reasons Why You Couldn't Have Killed Your Dead Wife
1.What, and miss the prime Christmas Eve fishing season?
2.Too busy having extramarital affair to plot murder
3.Pregnant wife-killing totally against religion
4.Ha. I wish!
5.Spirit too crushed from living with soulless bitch for years
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