Vase

November 4, 1999

"Mom had this vase given to her in Great Aunt Mable's will and she loved it dearly. It sat on a wooden table in front of our picture window. I think it was from Japan. All I remember was the funny blue lines that decorated its pale, white surface. She told all of us kids never to touch that vase. I asked her if I could put things in it and she told me, 'Only on special occasions.'

Turns out finding three dozen night crawlers isn't a special occasion."

Quote of the Day

“'Tis a far, far better thing I do today than I have ever doneâ€¦ in fact, where I'm from, I'm kind of known as an asshole.”

-Cute Little Dickens

Fortune 500 Cookie

Remember to clean your earsâ€”a friend of ours died from not doing that, no shit. What time is it? Half-past beer-thirty. Always never forget to quit being scared to not ask questions.

Try again later.

Ill-Conceived Vacation Getaways

1.	Locked in steamer trunk with mother-in-law.
2.	North Platte, Nebraska. Was thinking of a different North Platte.
3.	The hottest part of the sun. In July.
4.	Feral Monkey Zone Theme Park. Provo, Utah.
5.	The sweet release of death.