Milestones
1994: Omar Bricks arrested after setting a statue of the Virgin Mary ablaze atop the Ferris wheel at the State Fair. Gets off on a technicality that goes down in legal history as the Proud Mary defenseNow Hiring
Flamenco Dancer. Leggy Latin beauty needed to, well, you know. And dance. Must be disease-free and light on the orthodontia. Garden hose-based qualifications a big plus. Mus- wait. Really? Then what the hell's flamenco?Top Reasons Why You Couldn't Have Killed Your Dead Wife
| 1. | What, and miss the prime Christmas Eve fishing season? |
| 2. | Too busy having extramarital affair to plot murder |
| 3. | Pregnant wife-killing totally against religion |
| 4. | Ha. I wish! |
| 5. | Spirit too crushed from living with soulless bitch for years |
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