Quote of the Day
“There ain't no cure for the summertime blues. Or HIV. Boy, AIDS, that must suck. This has been a Public Service Announcement from Eddie Cochran.”
-Eddie CochranFortune 500 Cookie
Look to the stars for guidance: preferably someone who's been in a big movie in the last five years. You will go to the bathroom this week. Don't be fooled by your lack of progress in life: things can still get much worse. This week's lucky gelatin desserts: Jell-O Jigglers, Jell-O Epileptics, Limp Hicks, Greased Piggie Bites, Spineless Weasels, Slime Dogs.
Try again later.5 Ways to Spend Your $208 Million Lottery Jackpot
| 1. | Finance own album of you singing Broadway standards; pay people to buy it |
| 2. | Invest heavily in million-dollar ducks |
| 3. | Buy a car for everyone you know, something they could all fit in at once |
| 4. | Spend 208 nights with Demi Moore |
| 5. | Fund grassroots pro-President Bush campaigns |
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