Quote of the Day
“You can't tell me what to do. Unless I was already just about to do the thing you said. Then I'll do what you say, but not because you said to do it. Hold on; let me draw up a flow chart.”
-Pistain JohnsonFortune 500 Cookie
In retrospect, it was a mistake to name your jewelry store "Who Faahted?" Try learning a new song this week: Everybody's sick of the theme from Ice Pirates. You'll get lucky in the market this week: all your stocks will plummet, but you're going to get laid by a butcher. This week's lucky terms of endearment: Ninjatits, Daddy's Little Freebaser, Grape Ape, President Precious, Monsieur Brabuster.
Try again later.Top 5 Things Heard on Election Night
| 1. | "Now keep in mind, with only 2% of the precincts reporting, it could go either way. But it certainly looks good for Mr. Nader at the moment." |
| 2. | "What the fuck is that blue one? Vermont?" |
| 3. | "The polls have just closed, and thank God, the bars are just opening…" |
| 4. | "I can't believe this—even Wyoming has an electoral vote." |
| 5. | "This is not happening… this is not happening…." |
|