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04/21/26   
Draw, huckleberry


Quote of the Day
“What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. Jesus, I'm wasted.”

-Dan Quayle
Fortune 500 Cookie
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow—we hear if you're late to your own castration they charge double. Anyone can be a hero to a small child, just buy a monster truck and never take your sunglasses off. Try eating more greens: we find it hilarious and it pisses off those asshole golfers. This week's lucky medical procedures not covered by Medicaid: assectomy, therapeutic genital massage, gene therapy for "itchy taint," installation of a second "failsafe" spare heart—baboon or otherwise, and goat removal.


Try again later.
Top Outstanding commune Petty Cash Debts
1.Raoul Dunkin
$974.25 in mental anguish
2.Smilin' Jack Costello
$8, plus interest
3.Ned Nedmiller
1/8th of a cent
4.Mazie the Chicken
1 half cup of scratch
5.You Know Who You Are
1 human gall bladder