Milestones
1979: Some people call Red Bagel a space cowboy (wahnt-waaow). Ignorant to popular culture, Bagel burns his driver's license and spends two years living underground as Miguel Carlos Ferrina.Now Hiring
Small Town Rube. Trustworthy innocent needed to flush gremlins out of elevator system. Competitive wage to be paid upon successful completion of duties. No Sci-Fi geeks, please. John McCain's Most Ill-Conceived Jokes
| 1. | Trick "Good for One Free House-Cleaning" coupon he gives to homeless that looks like $100 bill |
| 2. | Open letter to Crocodile Hunter widow Terri Irwin inviting her to spend the night with a "real man" |
| 3. | "I fully and unequivocably support the rights of homosexuals. Nah, just kidding. That shit makes me throw up." |
| 4. | Wearing hole-filled NASA sweatshirt to press conference Saturday |
| 5. | Big "I have cancer" gag in 2000 election |
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