Milestones
1983: Red Bagel is thrown out of a casino for counting cards. He is not cheating, merely trying to settle a bet with a friend on how many decks the casino uses.Now Hiring
James Bondian Action Hero. Must be proficient in fire arms and small mechanical gadgets with ridiculous capabilities. Responsibilities include killing unnamed lackeys and doing battle with bizarre supervillians of non-distinct European origin. Good benefits, adventure, and pussy galore. Top 5 Bush Second-Term Pledges
| 1. | Encourage nations to work with us again, under threat of violence |
| 2. | Pay national deficit with Discover and Visa cards |
| 3. | Appeal to black constituents by finally selling off "Amos & Andy" videos |
| 4. | Build new wing of America so rich people can vacation more |
| 5. | Two, maybe even three more inaugurations |
|
