Milestones
1999: Rok Finger's highly offensive rendition of "White Christmas" marks the end of the commune's yearly Christmas parties, and the birth of the Parents Against Rok Finger Coalition (PARF).Now Hiring
Rubik. Crazy puzzle-making hermit needed to devise a way to keep staff out of Red Bagel's mini-fridge. Knowledge of trap doors and spinning blades a plus.Top 5 Ways Bush Could Raise Approval Rating
| 1. | Replace Hugh Jackman in next X-Men sequel |
| 2. | Give out free abortion to pro-choicers on Roe v. Wade anniversary; for pro-lifers, kill convicted criminal |
| 3. | Be seen everywhere with new wheelchair-bound friend |
| 4. | Go on Leno, punch Tom Cruise right in sack |
| 5. | Win war on terrorism, declare war on disagreement next |
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