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09/1/26   
Not really trying since 2001


Quote of the Day
“Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes! Or, if they're wearing sunglasses, just aim for the balls. Cocky shits.”

-General Dicky Prescott
Fortune 500 Cookie
That noise outside your bushes? It's just me. Something important tomorrow, but I can't remember if it's "lottery" or "leprosy"… Don't forget to check under refrigerator; it's shrimp, that's what you're smelling. Lucky numbers 15 and Qwiddley-Two.


Try again later.
Most Feared Cancers
1.Expensive Pet Cancer
2.Smellanoma
3.Cancer of the Ugly
4.Cancer of the Girlfriend's Tits
5.Whatever Strom Thurmond Has