Quote of the Day
“A man cannot serve two masters. Unless they are both kung fu masters, in which case he'd better do his damned best. At least until they kill each other in a spectacular bloody finale.”
-Rod GoddFortune 500 Cookie
Fine, the stars won't kill you with cancer like they previously promised… big baby. Time to face facts: Those laser discs you socked away are never going to go up in value. Sorry, girlfriend, no visit from the stork for you, but you will get a postcard from a half-crazed seagull. Lucky Sean Penn films: Hurly Burly, Dead Man Walking, I Am Sam, and Supreme Blow-Jobs XXVI.
Try again later.Top Secret Shames
| 1. | Checked out own mom's ass |
| 2. | Own Taco Bell dog doll |
| 3. | Smarter than husband |
| 4. | Am Richard Simmons |
| 5. | Loved Battlefield Earth |
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