Milestones
1988: Future commune staff photographer Junior Bacon takes a photo that shocks the nation, until experts determine that the Sasquatch-looking thing in the picture is actually future commune editor Red Bagel.Now Hiring
Experienced Spelunker. Needed to find a way into Ned Nedmiller's office and see if there's anyone still alive in there. Ability to speak Dutch a plus.Least Heard Mobster Euphemisms for Murder
| 1. | Treat this guy to a steel sundae |
| 2. | Make his shoes a lot heavier, more sinkable |
| 3. | Invalidate his parking |
| 4. | Go apeshit on this fuck |
| 5. | Fill him full of holes like a Dade County ballot (2000 only) |
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