Milestones
1983: Reporter Raoul Dunkin begins down the long road of abandoning teams when things get rough, quitting a dodgeball match due to some minor bone fracturing.Now Hiring
You. Seeking dedicated, hard-working you of moderate intelligence to engage in commune reading, web-surfing, and other you-centered activities. Payment and benefits to be based on experience.Top 5 Smart New Weight Loss Tips
| 1. | Carbs are like the devil’s penis: Delicious but fattening. |
| 2. | After a workout, treat yourself to a tasty ice cube sandwich. |
| 3. | Weigh yourself after masturbating. For guys, you’ll be a little bit lighter. For the ladies, you won’t be so upset when you find out you’re still fat. |
| 4. | You’re never going to lose any weight if you insist on eating every single day. |
| 5. | At-home liposuction is the third-easiest surgery to perform on yourself at home, after heart valve roto-rootering and a cock transplant. |
|
