Milestones
1931: Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another "Race Around the World" when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.Now Hiring
Compulsive Ass-Kisser. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane "Never met a man I didn't like" attitude a plus.Top 5 commune Features This Week
| 1. | Bob Denver: The Most Unlikely Scientologist of Them All |
| 2. | Gut-Wrenching and Other Techniques They Don't Teach in Med School |
| 3. | Uncle Macho's War-Wound Pâté |
| 4. | To Have Your Cake and Eat it Too: A Bulimic's Tale |
| 5. | Splamb: Enjoy the Authentic Flavor of Spiced Lamb |
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