Quote of the Day
“I am the very model of a modern major general. Perhaps this explains my inability to move my limbs and the pungent smell of airplane glue.”
-Gilgamesh SullivanFortune 500 Cookie
You will get kicked in the balls for a good cause this week. Expect a telephone call from a long forgotten friend today—your split personality from Belgium. Lose the mustache, that "Hitler" look is so 1997. This week's stomach-pump jackpot: $20 in loose change, long-lost stash, grandma's favorite knitting needles, Nerds.
Try again later.Top 5 Concessions to Iran for Freeing British Prisoners
| 1. | Give Iranian cricket team real shot at the World Cup |
| 2. | Current prisoners traded for Ian MacKellen, who can hopefully deliver more convincing confession |
| 3. | Just one more season of Ricky Gervais' The Office |
| 4. | Three words: Spandau Ballet Reunion |
| 5. | Stab at pissing off the second-largest military force in the West before taking on the biggest not as successful as expected |
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