Quote of the Day
“They say you are what you eat, which is precisely why I ate fine young Bernard. Though I regret to report that I feel largely unchanged, except for the part about being in prison and having a permanent case of indigestion.”
-Percy "The Cannibal" DandridgeFortune 500 Cookie
Nobody knows the trouble you've seen, and you'll keep it that way if you know what's good for ya, bub. Try mixing your unique brand of illiterate rage with random fits of giggling this week. People hate it when you bring your own records to be played on the jukebox—it's just a soda joint, asshole. This week's lucky piercings: throat, spleen, tear duct, tooth.
Try again later.Top Unrevealed Bush Tax Cut Benefits
| 1. | Paper currency disintegrates upon touching hands of lower classes |
| 2. | Top 1 percent of wealth holders can legally eat cloned dinosaur |
| 3. | Five new interns approved for every Democrat who votes for cuts |
| 4. | Third Star Wars movie legally required to be drastic improvement |
| 5. | Millions of tax dollars refunded to rich; T-shirts for poor |
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