Milestones
1988: Future commune staff photographer Junior Bacon takes a photo that shocks the nation, until experts determine that the Sasquatch-looking thing in the picture is actually future commune editor Red Bagel.Now Hiring
Experienced Spelunker. Needed to find a way into Ned Nedmiller's office and see if there's anyone still alive in there. Ability to speak Dutch a plus.Top Reasons for Increased U.S. Ladder-Associated Deaths
| 1. | "Up/Down" directions never specified |
| 2. | Reckless Generation Y refuses to wear protective equipment |
| 3. | Ladder-deaths portrayed so glamorously in the movies |
| 4. | Frequent union strikes by staircases leaving human helpless to descend to higher landings except by already overcrowded ladders |
| 5. | Direct correlation to 50% increase in all-blind-cast productions of Our Town |
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