Quote of the Day
“My love is like a red, red wiiiine… go to my heaaaad… make me forgeeet… Wait. Sorry. My love is like a red, red rose… just like eeeeevery night has its daaaaaw- awawaaaan… Just like eeeevery cooowboy… Fuck.”
-A.D.DobbsFortune 500 Cookie
Clowns don't hate you, they just feel sorry for you. Your "Don't Worry, Be Slappy" series of self-help books finally broke the five-copy sales barrier this week, and just got you sued by the estate of Slappy White. This week's lucky strikes: Clover-Workers' Union, ump didn't see ball careen off batter's jock and through strike zone, killed them all while they were dreaming about killing you, threw your ex-wife's severed head down lane on accident.
Try again later.Top 5 Bush Second-Term Pledges
| 1. | Encourage nations to work with us again, under threat of violence |
| 2. | Pay national deficit with Discover and Visa cards |
| 3. | Appeal to black constituents by finally selling off "Amos & Andy" videos |
| 4. | Build new wing of America so rich people can vacation more |
| 5. | Two, maybe even three more inaugurations |
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