Quote of the Day
“The Devil finds work for idle hands. It's all part-time clerical work, but the pay is kick-ass. The Devil is no longer hiring for assembly work.”
-Ted's Big Book of BibleFortune 500 Cookie
This week you'll finally get that pot to piss in, but before you start unzipping, we should warn you it's second-hand. Turn on, tune in, and drop out—you've missed too many days in that computer programming class. Look for a bright-eyed Aries to take away all your troubles when she shoots you in the throat. Lucky scams this week: Pyramid, carnival ring toss, Florida voter roll purges, and it's okay, I had a vasectomy.
Try again later.Top Ways to Leave Your Lover
| 1. | Join Al-Qaeda |
| 2. | Quit Al-Qaeda |
| 3. | Mail self to Shanghai (unless from Shanghai) |
| 4. | Singing Dump-o-Gram |
| 5. | Blaze of Glory/Blaze of Lies |
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