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11/28/25   
Sliding down the razor blade of happiness into the alcohol of joy


Quote of the Day
“I am the very model of a modern major general. Perhaps this explains my inability to move my limbs and the pungent smell of airplane glue.”

-Gilgamesh Sullivan
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will get kicked in the balls for a good cause this week. Expect a telephone call from a long forgotten friend today—your split personality from Belgium. Lose the mustache, that "Hitler" look is so 1997. This week's stomach-pump jackpot: $20 in loose change, long-lost stash, grandma's favorite knitting needles, Nerds.


Try again later.
Top Easter Memories
1.Stuffing all those eggs up the bunny's ass. For the children.
2.Knee-deep in Peeps.
3.Kicked out of church for eating wooden Jesus. Thought it was chocolate.
4.I'll be damned, family really can tell ham from Spam.
5.Boil the eggs next year. Sweet Jesus, boil the motherloving eggs.