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07/21/26   
Often duplicated, never imitated


Milestones
1931: Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another "Race Around the World" when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.
Now Hiring
Compulsive Ass-Kisser. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane "Never met a man I didn't like" attitude a plus.
Top 5 commune Features This Week
1.Tanks: Why Can't We Drive 'Em?
2.Apples: The Silent Killer
3.Suck It: the commune's Vacuum Cleaner Reviews
4.Uncle Macho's Boat Fire Gumbo
5.Critic's Corner: How You Personally Ruined Western Culture