Milestones
1750: Antonio Salieri, second-rate composer and eternal inspiration to the commune. His alleged murder of Mozart, as portrayed in Amadeus, forever encourages us in our war with Crochet! magazine.Now Hiring
Stepchild. Just sit around and eat and drink me out of house and home without ever raising a finger. Hey, I'm talking to you, you little shit. There ain't no law says I got to be nice to you just 'cause I'm knocking boots with your mom.Least Popular April Fools' Pranks
| 1. | Entire world repopulated with talking dogs while you slept |
| 2. | Autistic cousin did your taxes for you, but it turns out he's a music savant |
| 3. | You're CNN's Kidnapper of the Week! |
| 4. | Woke up covered in 200 glued-on toupees |
| 5. | Anal rape |
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