Milestones
1990: Red Bagel's dark vision of the future presented in lecture form at a local college predicts a war in Iraq, though he incorrectly predicts the date as 2002. Unless… well, we'll wait and see, won't we?Now Hiring
Bartender. Mix all variety of drinks, serve beers with a quick smile and friendly expression. Listening a must, flipping bottles and spinning like in Cocktail a plus. Must know when to cut off Ramrod Hurley—immediately—and when to cut off Red Bagel—never, if you like your job.Best Unreported News
| 1. | President Bush Built from Japanese Parts |
| 2. | Dale Earnhardt Fans Waiting Like Fanatics for His Return |
| 3. | Lawrenceville, KS Shoney's Buffet Huge Fucking Rip-Off |
| 4. | RuPaul All Man Underneath Dress |
| 5. | Country of Chad Non-Existent, Just Some Joke by Guy Named Chad |
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