Milestones
1988: Future commune staff photographer Junior Bacon takes a photo that shocks the nation, until experts determine that the Sasquatch-looking thing in the picture is actually future commune editor Red Bagel.Now Hiring
Experienced Spelunker. Needed to find a way into Ned Nedmiller's office and see if there's anyone still alive in there. Ability to speak Dutch a plus.Top Reasons Why You Couldn't Have Killed Your Dead Wife
| 1. | What, and miss the prime Christmas Eve fishing season? |
| 2. | Too busy having extramarital affair to plot murder |
| 3. | Pregnant wife-killing totally against religion |
| 4. | Ha. I wish! |
| 5. | Spirit too crushed from living with soulless bitch for years |
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