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07/21/26   
Ugly like an Eskimo, but fun at parties


Quote of the Day
“You can't tell me what to do. Unless I was already just about to do the thing you said. Then I'll do what you say, but not because you said to do it. Hold on; let me draw up a flow chart.”

-Pistain Johnson
Fortune 500 Cookie
In retrospect, it was a mistake to name your jewelry store "Who Faahted?" Try learning a new song this week: Everybody's sick of the theme from Ice Pirates. You'll get lucky in the market this week: all your stocks will plummet, but you're going to get laid by a butcher. This week's lucky terms of endearment: Ninjatits, Daddy's Little Freebaser, Grape Ape, President Precious, Monsieur Brabuster.


Try again later.
Worst Arguments Used Against Right-to-Die Advocates
1.Can't learn to play fiddle when you're dead
2.My personal religion goes against it, ergo, you should do what I say
3.Star Wars III looks like it's going to redeem the series
4.Probably no afterlife, just a harrowing void of darkness and stillness for eternity
5.Got a really good feeling things are gonna turn around for you, man