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03/9/26   
Made almost entirely of buffalo


Quote of the Day
“I am the very model of a modern major general. Perhaps this explains my inability to move my limbs and the pungent smell of airplane glue.”

-Gilgamesh Sullivan
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will get kicked in the balls for a good cause this week. Expect a telephone call from a long forgotten friend today—your split personality from Belgium. Lose the mustache, that "Hitler" look is so 1997. This week's stomach-pump jackpot: $20 in loose change, long-lost stash, grandma's favorite knitting needles, Nerds.


Try again later.
Top 5 Concessions to Iran for Freeing British Prisoners
1.Give Iranian cricket team real shot at the World Cup
2.Current prisoners traded for Ian MacKellen, who can hopefully deliver more convincing confession
3.Just one more season of Ricky Gervais' The Office
4.Three words: Spandau Ballet Reunion
5.Stab at pissing off the second-largest military force in the West before taking on the biggest not as successful as expected