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02/24/26   
We'll put this sword away when you tell us where the monkey is


Quote of the Day
“Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes! Or, if they're wearing sunglasses, just aim for the balls. Cocky shits.”

-General Dicky Prescott
Fortune 500 Cookie
That noise outside your bushes? It's just me. Something important tomorrow, but I can't remember if it's "lottery" or "leprosy"… Don't forget to check under refrigerator; it's shrimp, that's what you're smelling. Lucky numbers 15 and Qwiddley-Two.


Try again later.
Least Requested Christmas Gifts
1.Sleepover at Neverland Ranch
2.Likes-it-Rough Elmo
3.Virtual Crackbaby
4.Inoperable Brain Tumor
5.Hot Toddy, the hottest doll of 1922
6.New Matrix sequels
7.Saddam Hussein action figure with Hideaway Hovel playset
8.Online Predator Chat for X-Box Live
9.Four More Years
10.No Hope for the Holidays, an all-star Christmas Depression