Milestones
1931: Former commune columnist Sampson L. Hartwig forfeits another "Race Around the World" when it is discovered that he merely hid in a barn for three days, then took a taxi in from the opposite side of town, claiming victory.Now Hiring
Compulsive Ass-Kisser. Shameless suck-up needed to boost general staff morale and cut down on work days lost to crippling depression. Total lack of discernment required. Insane "Never met a man I didn't like" attitude a plus.Worst-Selling Children's Books
| 1. | Green Eggs and Bad Fish |
| 2. | The Little Engine That Could But Just Plain Wouldn't |
| 3. | Bi-Curious George and His Carribean Cruise |
| 4. | Tales of an Armed Four Grade Nothing |
| 5. | Where the Wild Things are Edited for Television |
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