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05/24/26   
Rock the bloat


Quote of the Day
“No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Unless we're talking Gandhi, but what fun is it taking a cudgel to the nuts for your country? None, that's how much.”

-Gorgeous George Spatten
Fortune 500 Cookie
Prepare for a fantastic journey of whimsy and wonder, and it's going to cost you $20—don't forget you can't touch her. Your keys are always in the last place you left them, so try looking at the bottom of Lake Chappaquiddick. What's up grandma's ass? What a bitch. When this particular problem comes along, literally whipping it will only result in jail time. Lucky skin blemishes: blackhead, pockmark, knife wound, stigmata.


Try again later.
How Did Rat Poison Get in Food for Dogs & Cats?
1.Particularly sly British mouse known only as Nigel
2.Adult illiteracy: Secret shame of the pet food industry
3.Turned back for one minute; Islamic fundamentalists cats & dogs go shithouse on production line
4.Mislabeled bags were manufactured for special Ted Nugent brand of pet food
5.One man determined to get the fucking dog to play dead already