Quote of the Day
“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our capacity for customer service. Yes I'll hold.”
-Elvin EinschwartzFortune 500 Cookie
You will find Love in a new job this week. Unfortunately it's Courtney Love, and she's your second-shift supervisor. Cheer up, it's not that nobody cares about you; it's just that nobody's willing to admit to it. Everyone's right: Your irrational hatred of the Chinese is starting to hurt your chopstick business. This week's lucky stars: Sirius, Orion, Omega 13, Pauley Shore.
Try again later.Top 5 Bush Second-Term Pledges
| 1. | Encourage nations to work with us again, under threat of violence |
| 2. | Pay national deficit with Discover and Visa cards |
| 3. | Appeal to black constituents by finally selling off "Amos & Andy" videos |
| 4. | Build new wing of America so rich people can vacation more |
| 5. | Two, maybe even three more inaugurations |
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