Like a big, gay hat of wisdom
Quote of the Day
“What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. Jesus, I'm wasted.”-Dan Quayle
Fortune 500 Cookie
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow—we hear if you're late to your own castration they charge double. Anyone can be a hero to a small child, just buy a monster truck and never take your sunglasses off. Try eating more greens: we find it hilarious and it pisses off those asshole golfers. This week's lucky medical procedures not covered by Medicaid: assectomy, therapeutic genital massage, gene therapy for "itchy taint," installation of a second "failsafe" spare heart—baboon or otherwise, and goat removal.Try again later.
Worst Country Songs Ever
| 1. | She Left Me for an African-American |
| 2. | I Don't Feel Like Drinkin' |
| 3. | Here's a Quarter, Go Buy Some Bubblegum |
| 4. | What's the Capital of Tennessee Again? |
| 5. | If Anyone Needs Me, I'll be Down at the Nail Salon |
| 6. | Regretfulness is the Hardest Word to Spell |
| 7. | Mama Didn't Raise No Episcopalians |
| 8. | I'm So Lonesome I Could Call an Escort Service |
| 9. | I Got This Hat on Sale |
| 10. | You Mispronounced My Name for the Very Last Time |
