Milestones
1990: Red Bagel's dark vision of the future presented in lecture form at a local college predicts a war in Iraq, though he incorrectly predicts the date as 2002. Unless… well, we'll wait and see, won't we?Now Hiring
Bartender. Mix all variety of drinks, serve beers with a quick smile and friendly expression. Listening a must, flipping bottles and spinning like in Cocktail a plus. Must know when to cut off Ramrod Hurley—immediately—and when to cut off Red Bagel—never, if you like your job.Least Successful David Bowie Incarnations
| 1. | Wacky Far-Out Space Nut |
| 2. | Lithe, Quirky, Effeminate Heterosexual |
| 3. | Gold-Suited Game Show Host Mutt Smalley |
| 4. | Evil Twin Brother Donald Bowie |
| 5. | Lou Bega |
|