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Milestones
1492: Christopher Columbus discovered America. Actually, it was Oct. 12, and it was really the Bahamas, so he discovered the Caribbean, and there were already lots of indigenous people there. All we know is the bank is closed today, so fuck the guy.
Now Hiring
Buffalo Bill. We don't really have a lot of buffalo roaming around that need slaughtering or anything, but the copydesk tends to order large amounts of delivery buffalo wings and somebody has got to figure out who pays what when the guy shows up. Respond promptly, we hear a car out front.
Top Justifications for Iraq War
1.France don't tell us we can't do something
2.Saddam said California was totally gay, for real
3.Thought country offered frequent invader incentives
4.Kuwait had "bad feeling" about some guys along the border
5.CIA had strong evidence of uncounted Florida ballots in Tikrit
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