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February 4, 2002
Click for Biography

Flood

"One year a flood hit our town, and it was among the most horrible things that ever happened. Over 20 people were killed, and I liked three of them. It made me very sad.

For a week we had to camp out on the top of our house since the floodwater reached to our second floor bedrooms. Our parents hated it, but me, Goose, and Stephanie loved it. We pretended the glaciers had melted and we lived in a post-apocalyptic nightmarish world where land was a resource more valuable than gold. This was years before Waterworld, mind you.

I overheard mom and dad talking one night about how the food and water supplies were running short. Mom insisted we would all be fine, that the floodwater would retreat before we could starve or die of thirst. Dad didn't like being without a pla...Read more...

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Quote of the Day
“How many roads must a man walk down before someone will give him a fucking ride? What, do I look like a serial killer or something? Blow me in the wind, buddy.”

-Zimm Bobberman
Fortune 500 Cookie
Here comes another lecture on the same old tax-and-spend bullshit, courtesy your butler. Quit picking at it and maybe it wouldn't get infected. Who beefed? Details inside. Better save that big comeback tour until after you've had at least one hit song.


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3.Nude Québec Joe
4.Roberta "Can't Sing Worth a Shit" Jackson
5.Lightnin' Lawrence Welk
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