You Really Think That Girl Was a Hooker?by Tyrene Small March 7, 2005 Seriously man, you're not messing with me? Why you think that girl was a hooker? She was nice, dog. Hey, just because she was nice to me doesn't mean she was a hooker! Damn. Girl even gave me her phone number. What kind of hooker does that, huh? You tell me that.
Yeah, I've heard that 867-5309 song. I know that shit. But that don't mean it's not her number. Think about it G, somebody's got to have that number for real, yo. They don't just put that thing in telephone number jail just because some fool wrote a song about it. Use your head, man. Lots of people got to have that number, if you think about it. Think about all the area codes out there. Each one's got an 867-5309, right? That's a lot of people with that number for real, dog. And why is it so hard to believe that some hot little honey hanging out on the street corner is one of them? Think about it, man, those odds are good. Yeah, I saw her get into the car with that dude, so what? Maybe that was her brother or something, come to give her a ride or pick her up for church or something, right? I don't know who dresses like that to go to church, so what if the girl want to look good when she goes to see God and shit, right? If you go to church in a tuxedo some time I'm not gonna start telling people you're a lounge singer or something, you know? I ain't gonna be spreading no hate on your behalf just cuz you look good. So what if he gave her some money when she got in the car, you never got money from your brother for something? I know you ain't above borrowing ten bucks, Luthor. She probably lent him the money, and he was being all prompt and shit about paying it back as soon as he saw her. That's a positive in my book. Yeah, I saw that the dude was white. So what? You ain't got any white brothers floating around somewheres? You know how those mixed families go. Sometimes brothers and sisters don't even look like each other, sometimes one gets all the black while the other gets all the white. Happens all the time. Anyway, I didn't say for sure dude was her brother. He could be a cousin or something, or a business partner. Maybe girl is a school teacher, you ever consider that Luthor? Maybe dude was a parent giving her a ride to a PTA meeting or some shit. Or maybe she's a lawyer and he was some kind of judge or something like that, you know? You just know those peoples be giving each other rides to the courthouse all the time and that, like a carpool or something. No use wasting gas when you're all headed the same way. Bitch sucked your dick? You serious? Man, why didn't you tell me that ten minutes ago? Shit. I been waiting on this street corner this whole time for nothing and you didn't even tell me. Man, you got to work on your arguing skills, Luthor, that's the kind of big gun you got to bring out early on, that's an argument-ender right there. You don't save that shit until the end like "Oh yeah, I just remembered this thing that totally erases the whole reason we was even arguing in the first place." Damn, Luthor. Yeah, you forgot. I'm gonna forget to call your dumb ass the next time I go out to wait on the street corner for some girl who I think ain't a hooker. Yo, Luthor. How much that shit cost? Really? Huh. I think I'm gonna hang out a little longer, that ho might still come by. Later yo. Quote of the Day“I can't quit you babe… you got me locked into a 24-month exclusive contraaaaact… oh yes you do oh yes you do… your early termination fees are givin' me the blues… I been on hold so long baby now so long now ba-by yeah… I know you're on the line with a-nother man and it's breakin my heeeeart in two…”-Naked Mole Rat Jefferson Fortune 500 CookieYou will find true love this week, but you'll return it because it smells funny. Try using words like "adage" and "usage" less frequently; you think it makes you sound smart, everybody else thinks you're turning into Pauly Shore. Don't hesitate to fire blindly into a crowd of strangers this week: hesitation can be deadly. This week's lucky trucks: ice cream, any variety being washed by bikini babes, Gaelic Motors' 4WD Clover, any whose manufacturers don't run commercials claiming they're "like Iraq."Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
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