You Don't Know Dickman (Vol. 2)

November 15, 2004

In this special edition, we corresponded with national film critic for Spineless Magazine Joel Dickman to get his take on the current crop of box office treats! Once again, we bring you the ceaseless praise of Joel Dickmanâ€¦

The Incredibles
"It's just plain incredible! The computer graphics are the best ever! The people at Pixar have done it one more time. A heart-warming tale of a family that does the coolest things! Voosh! Voosh! goes the kid! It's incredible!"

Ray
"Love is blind, and so is Ray Charles! Give Jamie Foxx an Oscar, please! Go see Ray"

Alfie
"Jude Law is a wonder to behold in all the films he's been in, and Alfie, too. Law deserves the Oscar! He's so much better in this than Michael Caine was."

Shark Tale
"If you've waited your whole life to see Will Smith as a fish, this is a movie for you! Jack Black made me laugh like I was high! This shark bites!"

Surviving Christmas
"A Christmas movie for anyone who wants to see one! Ben Affleck is hilarious as the character he plays! You'll be telling everyone you barely survived Surviving Christmas!"

Saw
"I saw, saw, saw Saw! This movie scared me until I pissed myself! It's not as bad as everyone's been saying. Carey Elwes completely blows off the screen! Ooo—see Saw!"

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
"Bridget Jones: The edge of funny! Renee Zellweger is positively bloated as Bridget Jones! A sharp, witty, British movieâ€¦ funnier than the first one and better than any other comedy you've seen! It's bloodyâ€¦ bloody good!"

The Polar Express
"Tom Hanks is one of the voices! A children's book that people have read comes to life through the magic of computers. A christmas movie the whole family can enjoy! It's full of great chunks of whimsy and wonder! The action is hot, hot, hot!"

Quote of the Day

“If you're not a liberal when you're 25, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative by the time you're 35, you have no inheritance. Die already, Uncle Francoâ€¦ justâ€¦ die.”

-Winthrop Shuriken

Fortune 500 Cookie

Who's the man? More specifically, who's the man who shattered your kneecap with a club and took you out of the competition? Now would be a good time to switch to NetFlix from your previous practice of watching the movie on the video store display TVs. Keep your eye on the sparrow. Lucky jeans: Levi, Bugle Boy, Lee, and Auel.

Try again later.

Most Misunderstood Nirvana Songs

1.	Smells Like Clean Spearmint
2.	Race Me
3.	Come as You Barf
4.	Small Pathologies
5.	Harp-Shaped Fox

You Don't Know Dickman (Vol. 1)
National film critic for Spineless Magazine Joel Dickman is America's most-quoted movie reviewer, and the commune thought we would share some of his best in this syndicated column! Here are some of Dickman's most famous reviewsâ€¦ Saving... (6/14/04)