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01/9/25   
Sure as shit, but smelling sweeter

Lesson of Dream

bio/email
June 23, 2003
Hello, reader of Boris. Is day good? Yes, what you say is not the shit.

If you are asking, Boris is good. All days is good since Boris make friend with big bee. Talk about great thing, this is bee friend.

It all starts when Boris has dream. In dream, Boris is walking down road. This part, you are thinking, is maybe not in dream since Boris walks down road in awake world also. But wait for next part. Next thing is that Boris sees big bee! But Boris is not afraid or hiding in bush. Brave dream Boris walk up to big bee and speaks words which show up in air like letters! Is funny dream things.

"R U A B?" is saying Boris.

"I M A B." is what big bee says in letters.

Boris is thinking this is the holy shit. There should be camera or audience persons for this thing. Is like crazy dream.

"O" saying Boris to bee. "I C."

This is when Boris takes bee hand in Boris hand and walk as friends. Is nice end for dream, nicer than other dreams which end with Boris eaten by dinosaur.

So when wake up, Boris knows he now has big bee friend. Yay for Boris! Boris does spend afternoon outside in sun's shine, playing game with bee friend. Boris and bee plays tag, and hide the go look. Are fun games, yes. Boris want to play Connecting Four, but bee doesn't not like this game.

Instead Boris takes bee friend inside to have lunch. Spaghetti-zeroes for Boris, and honey for bee. Honey is good thing for bee, is what bee eats in out of doors.

Boris and bee take nap, and wakes up when Louis come home. Boris is all the way excited to tell Louis story of how Boris and bee make friends. But before story can be said, Louis sits in chair where bee is sleeping! Louis does not see big bee, and oh my God, Louis is jumping and stung in the butt. And bee is sick from killing Louis. Is all so exciting and loud.

When all is done, Louis is in bad butt-swollen mood, and bee is taking nap forever. Him is so sleepy. Boris make little matchbox bed for bee, like in good cartoon movie, and tucks bee in for sleeping. Is nice.

Louis says there is lessons to learn from big bee adventures, and lesson is "Goddammit Boris!" Yes, is true. But like person says, when God flush the toilet, him open a window. And is true. Big bee friend is gone, but now "Similar to Skippy" dog does come out from under bed. So good thing can come from Louis killing friend of Boris with butt.


Quote of the Day
“They say you are what you eat, which is precisely why I ate fine young Bernard. Though I regret to report that I feel largely unchanged, except for the part about being in prison and having a permanent case of indigestion.”

-Percy "The Cannibal" Dandridge
Fortune 500 Cookie
Nobody knows the trouble you've seen, and you'll keep it that way if you know what's good for ya, bub. Try mixing your unique brand of illiterate rage with random fits of giggling this week. People hate it when you bring your own records to be played on the jukebox—it's just a soda joint, asshole. This week's lucky piercings: throat, spleen, tear duct, tooth.


Try again later.
Top 2004 Blockbuster Busts
1.For the Love of Godzilla
2.Jaws 5: Jaws of Life
3.Romy & Michelle's Jai Alai Reunion
4.Gargamel: The Movie
5.Dude, Where's My Cartographer?: The Christopher Columbus Story
Archives
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