You need a newer browser.

01/9/25   
You wanna piece of this?!?

The Boy From Demon's Bay

bio/email
September 30, 2002
In a tree on a hill
by a glimmering lake
lived a boy named LeCroy
and his father, LeJake.

In the simmering sun
on the year's hottest day
the boy went for a walk
in the town of Demon's Bay.

Though he was well liked
the boy was misunderstood
by his father and brother
and the rest of the brood.

But since his brother was only
a sock hung on the wall
and the rest of the family
just a bag of rubber balls,
it was really his father's
approval he sought.
And one day would earn!
Or so he thought.

LeCroy had some talents,
he had quite a few,
he could tell if the sun was lying
or if the wind had the flu.
He could tell you when the snails
were all achy and tired
and which ones of the worker bees
had recently been fired.
For LeCroy was attuned
to frequencies obscure.
He tuned in some strange wavelengths,
you can be quite sure.

But all his father knew
were figures and facts
of tariffs and treaties
and pardons and pacts.
He couldn't understand,
nor did he care,
about the subtle vibrations
of which LeCroy was aware.

So LeCroy took a walk
to clear his sensitive head.
He saw light waves and microwaves
and a pill bug's bed.
But how could he prove
to his father LeJake
that he really was useful
and not just a flake?

Just then in that moment
as the answer he pondered
up a crooked side street
he carelessly wandered.
And there in the ditch
by the side of the road
was a marmot named Harmon
and a three-fingered toad.

Both Harmon and toad
held their stomachs in gripe
for they had ate apples
that were not quite ripe.
And they felt as sickly
as sickly can be.
So LeCroy scooped them up
and took them back to his tree.

LeCroy's head was racing!
Finally he would prove
that his talents were useful
and LeJake's heart would move
when he saw how LeCroy
nursed these unfortunates to health.
Because everyone knew
that good health is true wealth.

So LeCroy brough them home
and tucked them into bed
and brought them sweet wasp's milk.
And to them he read
six bedtime stories
so soothing and mild
that Harmon and the toad
both soon slept like a child.

And when LeJake came home
LeCroy proudly displayed
his recovering invalids
and the progress they'd made.
But LeJake was not happy
and LeJake was not proud
He raised up his eyebrows
and he shouted aloud:

"LeCroy! Get them out!
Before I smack on your head!
That frog soiled my pillow
and that gopher shit in my bed!
I am so angry
that I could eat my hat!"

And LeJake was not kidding.
He ate it, at that.

So LeCroy ran away
with the marmot and toad
and they lived in a ditch
by the side of the road.
And they lived on happily,
for each was understood
for not thinking the same
or eating the things that they should.



Quote of the Day
“1.327493 is the loneliest number. Technically.”

-Inglebert Thomas, Professor of Mathematics
Fortune 500 Cookie
You will quit smoking, but only in hospital nurseries. One step at a time, baby. You will finally lose that unwanted 50 pounds, thanks to a fortuitous kidnapping. The bank won't be your only withdrawal this week, drugnuts. You will believe everything you read.


Try again later.
Top Jesus Retreat Jams
1.New Testament, New Testament
2.Who Let the Healing Love of Jesus Out?
3.Because I Don't Get High
4.Mary, Mary
5.Turn the Other Cheek (And Show Me Your Ass)
Archives
A Little Bit Hungry
A midget ate a pigeon and the pigeon ate a pig. If that seems odd remember that the pig was not that big. He was a bite-sized nugget, a toy pig as they say, one that would fit on a keychain should your inkling lean that way. The pig... (9/16/02)

Scrumpletydumples
"Flippetyripples dapplety-giblets!" cried the elf-like thing. Pouncing on his footstool, he was dressed fit for a king. His sniveling little attendant was harshly reprimanded: "Dimplety-smackers… chalooga!" he so eloquently demanded.... (9/16/02)

Snuffles, Wonder Dog
The call to alert had come! Or perhaps it was a call to alarm, there's a tricky subtle difference between the two that's always been tough to nail down. But whichever it was, the phone was ringing! Snuffles sprang into an action pose with his... (8/19/02)

The Story of the Unids
You see, there were these teeny tiny people who lived in a doll Tamara bought at the mall and though they were quite peaceful and kind, when they came out to introduce themselves she thought they were fleas and sprayed the whole lot of them with an... (8/5/02)

more