![]() Flood![]() ![]() February 4, 2002 "One year a flood hit our town, and it was among the most horrible things that ever happened. Over 20 people were killed, and I liked three of them. It made me very sad.
For a week we had to camp out on the top of our house since the floodwater reached to our second floor bedrooms. Our parents hated it, but me, Goose, and Stephanie loved it. We pretended the glaciers had melted and we lived in a post-apocalyptic nightmarish world where land was a resource more valuable than gold. This was years before Waterworld, mind you. I overheard mom and dad talking one night about how the food and water supplies were running short. Mom insisted we would all be fine, that the floodwater would retreat before we could starve or die of thirst. Dad didn't like being without a plan, so he started talking about which of us would be eaten first. I was scared, naturally, but also felt pretty sure I was a shoo-in to avoid being eaten because I'm so thin and there's not much meat on me. Sure enough, Dad narrowed it down to Stephanie and Goose, and eventually decided Goose was big and heavy and would make more servings. Mom was horrified at this talk, and chided Dad to no end for such ridiculous thoughts. Goose was mostly fat, she said, and Stephanie was more muscular, not to mention Stephanie seemed to be plowing through the rations at twice the rate of everyone else. Needless to say, nobody got eaten and the floodwater started receding the very next day. The house was musky and damp when we returned to it, but all was soon back to normal. I did manage to bite Stephanie a few days later, just to see what I was missing, and trust me, it wasn't much." Quote of the Day“To sleep, perchance to dream. As long as I do not dream of being pursued by that creepy Duracell robot family, for that shit was truly too much for a soul to endure.”-Robert Shakenspear Fortune 500 CookieDo not take the road less traveled, 'cause the toll is complete bullshit. If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you? Your mother will finally find out this week. Two brutal assaults is a coincidence, three is a lack of self-control. Expect to be broken hearted this week, as the writing on the bathroom wall foretold. Lucky numbers all make a sum of 9.Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
![]() Pants "My mother insisted on buying all my clothes until I was 18, much the same way my father cut my hair in order to prevent shagginess and the use of pomade, which he called 'Satan's lubricant.' Shopping with my mother was even worse, especially... (1/21/02) Airplane "I remember it just like it was yesterday, the summer that my brother Goose and I spent trying to build our own airplane. We had it on good authority that none other than the Great Gildersleeve himself would be making a public appearance in St Louis... (1/7/02) Christmas "Every Christmas was the same thing at my house. Us kids hung up our socks by the chimney, except for Goose, who was not allowed to post socks anymore due to that court order from the neighborhood block association. Dad would dress up as Santa... (12/24/01) ![]() ![]() ![]() |