Comrade:   Seltaeb

   A thousand years ago the world known to the Toronto Blue Jays centered on this planet's foreskin. It extended to China in the east, the little yellow creatures that said "pika" in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the hot ladies in the hizz-ouse. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "Bullpen Of Ziploc 7," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical vaginus overflowus, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently "whipped".

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of cameras placed in public bathrooms. The French did not know of the French Tickler (go figure), and the Songhai of Africa had no interest in "riding the pine" of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be salty snacks distributed by Nabisco," writes point guard Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and guys with low centers of gravity, if you know what I mean. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of the mange gave him warts in an unwashed place.

   A thousand years ago the world known to have exploded a thousand and one years later centered on this belief that all men are hooked on a feeling. It extended to China in the east, the Pumpkinfields in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the last starfighter. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "vast west," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical gnome named charles, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently obsessed with NASCAR perished in the great flood of 1973.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of mutual bonds. The French did not know of the Timmy Lewis, Jerry's bastard child, and the Songhai of Africa had no clean thoughts of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be in the bathroom," writes future eggshell white power ranger Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and the Incredible Hulk who will smash puny humans. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of nutmeg and a sprinkle of road apples.

   A thousand years ago the world known to mexicans centered on this ladder. It extended to China in the east, the Faulkin Islands in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the max. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "locks," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical semi-tractor trailer, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently into wussy little fraidy cats.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of words. The French did not know of the kissing, and the Songhai of Africa had no recipes of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be unknown and forbidden," writes some guy named Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and plumbers. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of salt.

   A thousand years ago the world known to collapse without warning centered on this ramshackle broomstick and concrete block I jeri-rigged. It extended to China in the east, the Santa's workshop in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the Indians, I say. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "I-90," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical unicorn named Perry, NOT GAY, but from Fire Island, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently on a Sit N Spin.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of Omaha--people you can count on when the going's rough. The French did not know of the Talking Heads or any new wave groups, and the Songhai of Africa had no copies of Twin Peaks, or other shows in video stores of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be legal in Amsterdam," writes William Farnsworth Pigglebottom Dash Rendar Winslow Garrett Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and maxi-priests. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of heroin in his urine, and no longer eligible.

   A thousand years ago the world known to suffer from flatulence centered on this crazy idea about two girls and a guy sharing an apartment.. It extended to China in the east, the Big Dipper in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the Batmobile, Robin. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "Bob Marley's Fat Brother," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical hashbar, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently on hung out looking for some score.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of math, reading, and any social skills. The French did not know of the discover of soap, and the Songhai of Africa had no access to the dongsheaths of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be a lot cooler than they actually were," writes professional doorknob Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and men dressed as priests. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of smooth velvet.

   A thousand years ago the world known to Tiffany was symbolized by a sign very poorly centered on this facade of a strip mall. It extended to China in the east, the Housewares Department in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the people who like sandy tea. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "Furby," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical feminine hygiene product aisle, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently homosexual.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of basic mix'n'match rules. The French did not know of the banana hair clip or Aqua Net, and the Songhai of Africa had no deodorant, making them totally grody, just like the people of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be bands like Marilyn Manson, who are so cool," writes the flaming Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and other cute guys with "WWJD" shirts. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of an ape--wouldn't kill ya to be a bit more gentle down there.

   A thousand years ago the world known to Dinner Theater centered on this guy named Earl. It extended to China in the east, the south in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the Batmobile, Robin! Evil is afoot!. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "Amplesbadcaverns," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical Microwave Burritoville, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently nacho flavored.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of just how bad John Teshs music really was. The French did not know of the ubermench Jerry Lewis, and the Songhai of Africa had no postage stamps of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be known and accessable, with plenty of parking for all," writes prissy cry-baby Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and other pedophiles. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of frostbite, and the teeth of a chipmunk.

   A thousand years ago the world known to Garp centered on this dog that almost bit his fucking ear off. It extended to China in the east, the Oliver in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the used elephant lot. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "West," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical fruity colored gumdrop land, a land of fairies & flying dogs, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently stoned.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of almost all Jeopardy catagories. The French did not know of the Dirty Dancing craze, or so they said, and the Songhai of Africa had no jellied testicles, or so they said, of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be virtually everything, since the bible was so wierd," writes the illiterate Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and guys named Eziekiel. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of cooties.

   A thousand years ago the world known to celebrity mapmakers centered on this huge honkin' piece of posterboard laying right over there. It extended to China in the east, the polar wastes of the Antarctic in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the best of anyone's knowledge. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "Arby's," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical terra fatalis, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently dead, which was a real drag for the local tourism industry.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of whatever the hell was going on in this crazy mixed-up world. The French did not know of the proliferation of jokes about the French throughout the world, and the Songhai of Africa had no consensus on the correct pronunciation of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be dangerous," writes the now badly-crippled and mutilated explorer Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and cannibals. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of syphilis in his pants and love in his heart.

   A thousand years ago the world known to Jazzsoda centered on this tiny brain floating in his head. It extended to China in the east, the no, wait it's small in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the place very near India. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "real world," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical workplace, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently employed.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of Jazzsoda's feeble accomplishments. The French did not know of the glory of Bob Dole's company, and the Songhai of Africa had no Bob Dole worship rituals of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be Bob Dole's playground," writes genius Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and Bob Dole. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of Bob Dole in his heart.

   A thousand years ago the world known to Bob Dole centered on this huge, flying potato beetle. It extended to China in the east, the ceiling in the north, Saharan Africa and India to the max. Westward lay the vast and dreaded "mess in the kitchen," and farther south smoldered a semi-mythical groin region, a land where, it was said, men turned permanently self-obsessed.

Societies lived in mutual ignorance of Bob Dole. The French did not know of the advent of soap, and the Songhai of Africa had no naked pictures of the Inuit. "The unknown and the forbidden were thought to be crazy fun," writes swinger Daniel Boorstin, and better left to priests and altar boys. The explorer stood apart as someone with a touch of touch-up paint.