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04/16/26   
Help for the helpless. Hap for the hapless.

Blog

by Violet Tiara
bio/email
May 28, 2007
There was a frog
on my pog
until a dog
ate the pog
and a log
ate the dog
on a jog
yes, the log
then a clog
ate the log
and a bog
ate the clog
and in the bog
swam a hog
in the smog
sent from Prague

as I slog
through eggnog
like a cog
and a polliwog
recalls the frog
on the pog
and a dog
drops a log
where I jog
and a hair clog
in the bog
chokes the hog
in the smog
and in Prague
Praguers slog
sipping eggnog
through a cog
while a Golliwog
offends the frog
smells the pog
bites the dog
and writes a blog.


Milestones
1988: Future commune staff photographer Junior Bacon takes a photo that shocks the nation, until experts determine that the Sasquatch-looking thing in the picture is actually future commune editor Red Bagel.
Now Hiring
Experienced Spelunker. Needed to find a way into Ned Nedmiller's office and see if there's anyone still alive in there. Ability to speak Dutch a plus.
Worst-Selling Breakfast Cereals
1.Scroats!
2.Branimal Crackers
3.Frosted Mini-Thins
4.Too Much Fibre
5.Vitamin Pill Crunch
6.Unlucky Leprechaun Pocket Fuzz
7.Byproducts
8.Easter Peeps in Milk (milk included)
9.You’ve Got Crabs
10.Beano: The Cereal
Archives
Nice Smile
Teeth made from beef are a source of great grief for Leif and a thief with the brief name of Queef. Chewing with meat is a feat quite neat, but a taste far from sweet when heat makes meat excrete. The Dentist, an apprentice, was a Chicagoland... (3/19/07)

Meat in the Ground
Toasters are boasters and otters are modest but the lotto you bought was for the wrong archipelago. Mangy changers are deranged, sez strange Jessica Lange. Druids love fluids but who is the wiser the Kaiser? On rye, sir, that miser misspelt... (4/10/06)

Nanotech Speckles
Nanotech speckles form freckles electronic, bionic and fair On my face and the space around as sound pleasing sound eeks from the sparkles there in my glittery hair Bear hair, cloned re-zoned to my bald scalp like carpeting the Alps like... (12/12/05)

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