04/9/26
Like a friend you don't deserve
|  Nice Smileby Violet Tiara   March 19, 2007 Teeth made from beefare a source of great grief for Leif and a thief with the brief name of Queef. Chewing with meat is a feat quite neat, but a taste far from sweet when heat makes meat excrete. The Dentist, an apprentice, was a Chicagoland menace. Making each venture into dentures an indentured adventure. Making each meaty teeth-clencher a thirst quencher I'm then sure. A mouth full of pork would go well in New York when torque from one's fork would uncork the sound "Bjork!" But teeth made from sow, wow far better than cow. Much tougher to plow through your chow or mention the Tao or murmur a wedding vow with the beef teeth you have now. Even teeth fashioned from lamb or meat from a ram or flesh from a clam would hurt less when you swam and be less likely to jam when you scream out "Damn!" to the king of Siam. Oh, pardon me ma'am, my name is Sam and gram by gram teeth made of yam or molars of ham would seem less of a scam when I slam this sham "Wham!" during my final exam. But I y'am what I y'am. Though my breath smells like Spam. I y'am what I y'am. Though I smile like Vietnam. Quote of the Day“Don't run if you can walk. Don't walk if you can stand. Don't stand if you can sit. Don't sit if you can lie down. Don't like down if you can sleep. Don't sleep if you can be put into a medically induced coma. Don't be put into a medically induced coma if you can kick back in an iron lung and have machines shit for you. Don't do any of that if golf is on TV.”-Lazy Larry Lisbaine Fortune 500 CookieYou're gonna die this week. Sorry we couldn't put a more clever spin on that. In the meantime, try pouring sugar on your cereal instead of milk. Fuck it, what's anybody gonna do about it now? If it's any consolation, almost everyone in the world doesn't know you're alive anyway. This week's lucky coffin models: Dirt Rocket III, Econo-Sarcophagus Jr, The Spruce Moose, Office Max Moving Box Model 223117, The Bobsled to Hell, Spring-Loaded Jokester's Delight, Seventh Generation Biodegradable Grandma Sack, foot locker in your ex-boyfriend's closet.Try again later. Best Selling Albums
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