Nanotech Speckles

by Winston C. Mars

December 12, 2005

Nanotech speckles
form freckles
electronic, bionic
and fair

On my face
and the space around
as sound
pleasing sound
eeks from
the sparkles there
in my glittery hair

Bear hair, cloned
re-zoned
to my bald scalp
like carpeting the Alps
like beautiful Ralph
my refurbished neighbor

Breath smells
clickable by choice
ride on my voice
butterscotch and mint
lavender
with a hint
of plum
No gum!
We have no more need for gum

Genetically
hermetically
engineered foods
that exude
such a pleasing aroma
when eaten

Secreting
aromatherapeutic oils
which internally toil
to freshen your insides
andâ€¦
What did you think?
My shit doesn't stink!

Teeth whitening
hoagies are lovely
bravely doing battle
with my
cigarette-stained enamel

For I still cannot quit
not with patches or implants
addiction-quenching
brain lacquers
or crackers
Quit Crackers
or the help of brain hackers
it's all of no use

Thankfully this
engineered tobacco
is opium-enriched
so reality is ditched
and my worries
all scurry to
dark far-off places

As three of my spare faces
are buffed and embossed
and tossed like a pizza
as my complexion
direction
heads toward
beautiful
and I itch at the Velcro
micro-sewn
to my
skull.

Quote of the Day

“the commune is back? All right! Wait, what the fuck is the commune? What? Now Iâ€™m going to kick your ass for getting me excited for nothing.”

-Ron Tangley

Fortune 500 Cookie

This is the week everything changes for you. Yep, even those underwear. Go get a spatula. We all agree that your breasts are attractive, but usually a guy needs a follow-up act to really reel in the ladies. Try learning to play the lute this week, just carrying it around isnâ€™t impressing anyone. This weekâ€™s lucky fuckers: Fucker G. Robinson (the worldâ€™s second-richest and seventh-most-unfortunately-named man), mother, Megan Foxâ€™s boyfriend, and whoeverâ€™s sleeping with that hot girl on the Mortonâ€™s Salt container (oh get over it, sheâ€™s totally grown up by now).

Try again later.

Top Mike Tyson Hotel Brawl Excuses

1.	Men insulted Tyson's little yappy dog.
2.	"Dude reminded me that I raped his sister."
3.	Tyson heard bell ring in lobby.
4.	Victim reminded Mike of "Little Mac."
5.	Men taunted Tyson with their delicious-looking ears.

Sentence
Gonads like nomads of the lowlands in snowpants eat Rolaids with barmaids, says no man to snowman and icicles ride bicycles as rice pickles sing Don Rickles and yellow bellows forth from the fourth porch painted by Enid and Crosby and Mick who,... (11/7/05)

The Sissy
If you call me a prick do I not cry? Bully, thine mouth offends me fuck it Was it not me who kept secret your smoking your out of class without a pass you hi-jinks and ne'er-do-wells? I reach out my hand and you turn it back to smack my own cheeks... (9/26/05)

Your Ass is Grass and I'm the Lawnmower
Your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower You're slower than Noah with his Ark overflowin' And I'm fast like the gas you passed when you harassed my nose last. You've got mast ass you butt pirate I know you desire it so don't pretend you're not... (9/5/05)