The Sissy

by Ronald Hummly

September 26, 2005

If you call me a prick
do I not cry?
Bully, thine mouth offends me
fuck it

Was it not me
who kept secret your smoking
your out of class without a pass
you hi-jinks and ne'er-do-wells?

I reach out my hand
and you turn it back
to smack my own cheeks
why, oh why am I hitting myself?

I would hold my head high
were it not stuffed in the urinal
hair stained with pisswater and stink
let me go, Josh; let all my people go

Bully, your day is numbered
like the stupid jersey you wear
for I have not guns or grenades
but words, words of the mightiest ilk

Leave me be for the greener grass
of tomorrow, beyond the football field
and let mine ears and eyes be free of you
in a school principaled only by God

What? Nothing. I'm writing a letter
to my girlfriend in another state

Quote of the Day

“the commune is back? All right! Wait, what the fuck is the commune? What? Now Iâ€™m going to kick your ass for getting me excited for nothing.”

-Ron Tangley

Fortune 500 Cookie

This is the week everything changes for you. Yep, even those underwear. Go get a spatula. We all agree that your breasts are attractive, but usually a guy needs a follow-up act to really reel in the ladies. Try learning to play the lute this week, just carrying it around isnâ€™t impressing anyone. This weekâ€™s lucky fuckers: Fucker G. Robinson (the worldâ€™s second-richest and seventh-most-unfortunately-named man), mother, Megan Foxâ€™s boyfriend, and whoeverâ€™s sleeping with that hot girl on the Mortonâ€™s Salt container (oh get over it, sheâ€™s totally grown up by now).

Try again later.

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