The Sissy

by Ronald Hummly

September 26, 2005

If you call me a prick
do I not cry?
Bully, thine mouth offends me
fuck it

Was it not me
who kept secret your smoking
your out of class without a pass
you hi-jinks and ne'er-do-wells?

I reach out my hand
and you turn it back
to smack my own cheeks
why, oh why am I hitting myself?

I would hold my head high
were it not stuffed in the urinal
hair stained with pisswater and stink
let me go, Josh; let all my people go

Bully, your day is numbered
like the stupid jersey you wear
for I have not guns or grenades
but words, words of the mightiest ilk

Leave me be for the greener grass
of tomorrow, beyond the football field
and let mine ears and eyes be free of you
in a school principaled only by God

What? Nothing. I'm writing a letter
to my girlfriend in another state

Milestones

2002: Office prick and former Acting-Editor Ramrod Hurley successfully turns 30, leading us on an endless week-long binge of bitching, moaning, and strange acts of vandalism we hope not to repeat this year.

Now Hiring

Big Fat Patsy. 'Cause we're not taking the rap for this, see. We must look like a real all-day sucker to you, yeah, a sucker, with a big fat wrapper. Boy, should we have seen it coming! Played like a two-bit piano from day one. Backstabbing dames need not apply.

Best Unreported News

1.	President Bush Built from Japanese Parts
2.	Dale Earnhardt Fans Waiting Like Fanatics for His Return
3.	Lawrenceville, KS Shoney's Buffet Huge Fucking Rip-Off
4.	RuPaul All Man Underneath Dress
5.	Country of Chad Non-Existent, Just Some Joke by Guy Named Chad

Your Ass is Grass and I'm the Lawnmower
Your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower You're slower than Noah with his Ark overflowin' And I'm fast like the gas you passed when you harassed my nose last. You've got mast ass you butt pirate I know you desire it so don't pretend you're not... (9/5/05)

Menu
Tonsils so docile you can eat them like dumplings dumping your tummy on a rumpled green tongue. Stews you can use to lose the blues if you choose or just deliver the news that Stu is here, too. Feet of a stork that look like a cooked... (7/4/05)

Bouncing Against Injustice
I am a beach ball You bet your balls Round and colorful inflated and plastic I piss you off at concerts I lure you into the deep end drown you, dumb fuck I am the Hungry Hippo I eat your marble always eating your marbles until I am the... (6/27/05)