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01/16/26   
Shit sandwich

The Sissy

by Ronald Hummly
bio/email
September 26, 2005
If you call me a prick
do I not cry?
Bully, thine mouth offends me
fuck it

Was it not me
who kept secret your smoking
your out of class without a pass
you hi-jinks and ne'er-do-wells?

I reach out my hand
and you turn it back
to smack my own cheeks
why, oh why am I hitting myself?

I would hold my head high
were it not stuffed in the urinal
hair stained with pisswater and stink
let me go, Josh; let all my people go

Bully, your day is numbered
like the stupid jersey you wear
for I have not guns or grenades
but words, words of the mightiest ilk

Leave me be for the greener grass
of tomorrow, beyond the football field
and let mine ears and eyes be free of you
in a school principaled only by God

What? Nothing. I'm writing a letter
to my girlfriend in another state


Milestones
131 B.C.: Roman inventor Pontius creates love accidentally while trying to come up with a perfume that staves off homosexuality. Anyone who disagrees, we invite them to tell us who created love then.
Now Hiring
Barber. Staff barber sought to keep heads neat and trim, faces clean shaven, and reduce hippieness by at least 30%. Own scissors and weird Vitalis smell a plus. Controversial "tell-it-like-it-is" barbers need not apply.
Top Cruel New Rumors
1.Gay people can't whistle
2.Tennessee quarter shows state trooper harassing black motorist
3.French Stewart not actually French
4.Cats love vodka
5.Donald Trump is secret owner of McDonald's chain
Archives
Your Ass is Grass and I'm the Lawnmower
Your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower You're slower than Noah with his Ark overflowin' And I'm fast like the gas you passed when you harassed my nose last. You've got mast ass you butt pirate I know you desire it so don't pretend you're not... (9/5/05)

Menu
Tonsils so docile you can eat them like dumplings dumping your tummy on a rumpled green tongue. Stews you can use to lose the blues if you choose or just deliver the news that Stu is here, too. Feet of a stork that look like a cooked... (7/4/05)

Bouncing Against Injustice
I am a beach ball You bet your balls Round and colorful inflated and plastic I piss you off at concerts I lure you into the deep end drown you, dumb fuck I am the Hungry Hippo I eat your marble always eating your marbles until I am the... (6/27/05)

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