The Sissy

by Ronald Hummly

September 26, 2005

If you call me a prick
do I not cry?
Bully, thine mouth offends me
fuck it

Was it not me
who kept secret your smoking
your out of class without a pass
you hi-jinks and ne'er-do-wells?

I reach out my hand
and you turn it back
to smack my own cheeks
why, oh why am I hitting myself?

I would hold my head high
were it not stuffed in the urinal
hair stained with pisswater and stink
let me go, Josh; let all my people go

Bully, your day is numbered
like the stupid jersey you wear
for I have not guns or grenades
but words, words of the mightiest ilk

Leave me be for the greener grass
of tomorrow, beyond the football field
and let mine ears and eyes be free of you
in a school principaled only by God

What? Nothing. I'm writing a letter
to my girlfriend in another state

Milestones

1996: Red Bagel fires entire commune staff during "Crazy Bagel's Everything Must Go Liquidation Madness" phase of the commune's August Sale-abration. Analysts praise Bagel for ridding his staff of junkies and losers, who he promptly replaces with the current batch of junkies and losers.

Now Hiring

Bloodhound. Needed to track down former commune staffer Smilin' Jack Costello, who disappeared in May, still owing $8 to the office petty cash fund. Smart dog needed who is not fooled by turbans or overly distracted by running foxes. Generous wages to be paid in beef kidneys.

Top Unsigned Retro 70s Funk Bands

1.	Captain Dance and His Delicious Groove Posse
2.	Shithouse Delight
3.	The Unfuckables
4.	Danny Gyrate Presents Sensual Musk
5.	The Wonder Holes

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