The Sissy

by Ronald Hummly

September 26, 2005

If you call me a prick
do I not cry?
Bully, thine mouth offends me
fuck it

Was it not me
who kept secret your smoking
your out of class without a pass
you hi-jinks and ne'er-do-wells?

I reach out my hand
and you turn it back
to smack my own cheeks
why, oh why am I hitting myself?

I would hold my head high
were it not stuffed in the urinal
hair stained with pisswater and stink
let me go, Josh; let all my people go

Bully, your day is numbered
like the stupid jersey you wear
for I have not guns or grenades
but words, words of the mightiest ilk

Leave me be for the greener grass
of tomorrow, beyond the football field
and let mine ears and eyes be free of you
in a school principaled only by God

What? Nothing. I'm writing a letter
to my girlfriend in another state

Quote of the Day

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, even more shame on you! Big fooler. Fool me three timesâ€¦ man, that brings back memories. Reminds me of when you made me drink that urine one time.”

-Vick-O Martini

Fortune 500 Cookie

That heart attack medicine may be making your penis smaller, so just for safety's sake, stop taking it altogether. Learn to play the guitar this week; it's just another good reason to carry out that plan to kidnap Dweezil Zappa. Remember, passing gas in an elevator is not only rude, it also slows down your arrival time by up to 2 seconds.

Try again later.

Least Effective Protest Signs

1.	Stop Iraq War and Tooth Decay
2.	France is Against It!
3.	Smooth Move, Ex-Lax
4.	Prevent Tyrannical Military Action and Stop U.S. Globalizâ€” (see other side)
5.	Bush is Just Lame Nirvana Wanna-Be

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