05/29/26
It's like God... with almonds
|  Menuby Violet Tiara   July 4, 2005 Tonsils so docile
you can eat them like dumplings dumping your tummy on a rumpled green tongue. Stews you can use to lose the blues if you choose or just deliver the news that Stu is here, too. Feet of a stork that look like a cooked fork and even Mork from Ork would prefer them to pork. Brains from Spain, jalapenoed or plain but first let me explain that the drippings may stain. Hedgehogs! Sweet hedgehogs! Are like candy for the gut believe me you've never had them in custard but please be careful not to glut. Have you ever eaten mice beaten into a frothy puree and topped with crème brulee by a chef who's so gay he could make dogmeat delicious? Nutritious? Of course! You want the eyes of a horse steamed over mussels straight from the source for your second course. Arachnids? Your fat kids will love our spider muffins and our puffin blood toughened by a night out in the rain. But do not forget our dogshit baguette! Trust me it's delightful don't let the name leave you frightful. Might I interest you in a toad with the flu? The pilot just flew in from Bulgaria with two. Though I have to tell you truly nothing can top our cream of the crop for this menu's finest is the baked werewolves' vaginas. So, may I take your order? A Big Mac? Whatever, it's your funeral. Quote of the Day“I can't quit you babe… you got me locked into a 24-month exclusive contraaaaact… oh yes you do oh yes you do… your early termination fees are givin' me the blues… I been on hold so long baby now so long now ba-by yeah… I know you're on the line with a-nother man and it's breakin my heeeeart in two…”-Naked Mole Rat Jefferson Fortune 500 CookieYou will find true love this week, but you'll return it because it smells funny. Try using words like "adage" and "usage" less frequently; you think it makes you sound smart, everybody else thinks you're turning into Pauly Shore. Don't hesitate to fire blindly into a crowd of strangers this week: hesitation can be deadly. This week's lucky trucks: ice cream, any variety being washed by bikini babes, Gaelic Motors' 4WD Clover, any whose manufacturers don't run commercials claiming they're "like Iraq."Try again later. Top More Things to Do With a Severed Finger
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Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.