03/23/26
Finally! A website that treats me like an automaton!
|  Menuby Violet Tiara   July 4, 2005 Tonsils so docile
you can eat them like dumplings dumping your tummy on a rumpled green tongue. Stews you can use to lose the blues if you choose or just deliver the news that Stu is here, too. Feet of a stork that look like a cooked fork and even Mork from Ork would prefer them to pork. Brains from Spain, jalapenoed or plain but first let me explain that the drippings may stain. Hedgehogs! Sweet hedgehogs! Are like candy for the gut believe me you've never had them in custard but please be careful not to glut. Have you ever eaten mice beaten into a frothy puree and topped with crème brulee by a chef who's so gay he could make dogmeat delicious? Nutritious? Of course! You want the eyes of a horse steamed over mussels straight from the source for your second course. Arachnids? Your fat kids will love our spider muffins and our puffin blood toughened by a night out in the rain. But do not forget our dogshit baguette! Trust me it's delightful don't let the name leave you frightful. Might I interest you in a toad with the flu? The pilot just flew in from Bulgaria with two. Though I have to tell you truly nothing can top our cream of the crop for this menu's finest is the baked werewolves' vaginas. So, may I take your order? A Big Mac? Whatever, it's your funeral. Quote of the Day“Don't run if you can walk. Don't walk if you can stand. Don't stand if you can sit. Don't sit if you can lie down. Don't like down if you can sleep. Don't sleep if you can be put into a medically induced coma. Don't be put into a medically induced coma if you can kick back in an iron lung and have machines shit for you. Don't do any of that if golf is on TV.”-Lazy Larry Lisbaine Fortune 500 CookieYou're gonna die this week. Sorry we couldn't put a more clever spin on that. In the meantime, try pouring sugar on your cereal instead of milk. Fuck it, what's anybody gonna do about it now? If it's any consolation, almost everyone in the world doesn't know you're alive anyway. This week's lucky coffin models: Dirt Rocket III, Econo-Sarcophagus Jr, The Spruce Moose, Office Max Moving Box Model 223117, The Bobsled to Hell, Spring-Loaded Jokester's Delight, Seventh Generation Biodegradable Grandma Sack, foot locker in your ex-boyfriend's closet.Try again later. Top 5 News-Filler Stories
 Bouncing Against Injustice I am a beach ball You bet your balls Round and colorful inflated and plastic I piss you off at concerts I lure you into the deep end drown you, dumb fuck I am the Hungry Hippo I eat your marble always eating your marbles until I am the... (6/27/05) Phil Spector's Hair Rising high like a psychedelic mushroom cloud so loud without a sound Holy Jesus, did you see Phil Spector's hair? Big like Canada Big like the sun Big like an idea whose time has come Phil Spector's hair is like a Zen koan Through which the wind... (6/6/05) Self-Fornicated Kiss me, you beast with the golden toes the arches of your eyebrows like a broken McDonald's sign the smacky wetness of your lips like the maw of a paint-stained flower (love me, Venus Flytrap) Absorb me swallow me whole crush my bones with... (5/30/05)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.