Bouncing Against Injustice

by Tavo Scott

June 27, 2005

I am a beach ball
You bet your balls
Round and colorful
inflated and plastic
I piss you off at concerts
I lure you into the deep end
drown you, dumb fuck

I am the Hungry Hippo
I eat your marble
always eating your marbles
until I am the victor
and your Hippo starves
thin and dessicated
fat-ass Hippo

I am the guitar of humanity
strumming the tune you dread
thundering power chords
while you pick your notes
shredding my own neck
wavering my whammy bar
solo, bitch!

I am that beach ball
hate like a beach ball
malicious like a beach ball
bouncing through the system
Rat-a-tap against the man
Tap-a-rat against the establishment
like the beach ball of justice

and I'm telling you for the last time,
old man in the gray house and fenced yard
I want my beach ball back

Quote of the Day

“The Devil finds work for idle hands. It's all part-time clerical work, but the pay is kick-ass. The Devil is no longer hiring for assembly work.”

-Ted's Big Book of Bible

Fortune 500 Cookie

This week you'll finally get that pot to piss in, but before you start unzipping, we should warn you it's second-hand. Turn on, tune in, and drop outâ€”you've missed too many days in that computer programming class. Look for a bright-eyed Aries to take away all your troubles when she shoots you in the throat. Lucky scams this week: Pyramid, carnival ring toss, Florida voter roll purges, and it's okay, I had a vasectomy.

Try again later.

5 Phrases Guaranteed to Get You Slapped

1.	My testicles feel funny. Do they feel funny to you?
2.	You're very pretty. For a man, I mean.
3.	Why don't you go back to the kitchen and sit on this egg until it's hatched, bitch.
4.	If anyone wants to suck my cock, laugh awkwardly.
5.	Our greatest mistake as a country was fighting to keep Texas (Texas only)

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