Bouncing Against Injustice

by Tavo Scott

June 27, 2005

I am a beach ball
You bet your balls
Round and colorful
inflated and plastic
I piss you off at concerts
I lure you into the deep end
drown you, dumb fuck

I am the Hungry Hippo
I eat your marble
always eating your marbles
until I am the victor
and your Hippo starves
thin and dessicated
fat-ass Hippo

I am the guitar of humanity
strumming the tune you dread
thundering power chords
while you pick your notes
shredding my own neck
wavering my whammy bar
solo, bitch!

I am that beach ball
hate like a beach ball
malicious like a beach ball
bouncing through the system
Rat-a-tap against the man
Tap-a-rat against the establishment
like the beach ball of justice

and I'm telling you for the last time,
old man in the gray house and fenced yard
I want my beach ball back

Quote of the Day

“When you wish upon a starâ€¦ doesn't that burn like a motherfucker? Those things are basically like other suns. Me, I do all my wishing on the floor of my bedroom.”

-"Cricket-Bat" Nigel Jiminy

Fortune 500 Cookie

Your future lies in Clearasil, now and forever. Having Carrot Top fill in for you at the anchor desk Tuesday might just end your career. Why is more than one sheep still called sheep? And why are they so damned affectionate? You're going to regret correcting Randy Savage's grammar before the week is done. Saturday: Fish or die.

Try again later.

Worst Things to Yell in Church

1.	"Who the hell I gotta fuck to get a communion wafer around here?"
2.	"Father, bless me for I have pissed the confessional againâ€¦"
3.	"Altar boy sleepover? Bitchin'!"
4.	"Gawd, did you see that dude up there nailed to that cross? Creeeep-y!"
5.	"Am I the only one here for the monster truck show?"

Phil Spector's Hair
Rising high like a psychedelic mushroom cloud so loud without a sound Holy Jesus, did you see Phil Spector's hair? Big like Canada Big like the sun Big like an idea whose time has come Phil Spector's hair is like a Zen koan Through which the wind... (6/6/05)

Self-Fornicated
Kiss me, you beast with the golden toes the arches of your eyebrows like a broken McDonald's sign the smacky wetness of your lips like the maw of a paint-stained flower (love me, Venus Flytrap) Absorb me swallow me whole crush my bones with... (5/30/05)

Brandy is Dandy
Brandy is dandy and wine is fine but liquor is quicker and vodka divine. Gin makes you sicker and slows down your ticker when you pull down your knickers so more freely to bicker. Thunderbird is a wonder, stirred and Night Train ... (5/9/05)