![]() Phil Spector's Hairby Violet Tiara ![]() ![]() June 6, 2005 Rising high like a psychedelic mushroom cloudso loud without a sound Holy Jesus, did you see Phil Spector's hair? Big like Canada Big like the sun Big like an idea whose time has come Phil Spector's hair is like a Zen koan Through which the wind doesn't whistle, it moans It's so big it's small It's so short it's tall Fuck it man, I lost my Frisbee in there Phil Spector's hair's got more air Than Neptune's atmosphere Phil Spector's hair is like the end of the world Blotting out the sun Like a hot air balloon from hell What's that smell? I can't get nothing on my cell Dammit, Phil. I imagine a whole colony of weebles living in there in the city of Phil Spector's Hair Or the Whos that Horton heard And rare, endangered species of bird Goddamn, Sam I think a barber from another dimension Had a hand in those extensions "Hey look, I'm on the TV!" No shit dude, you ARE the TV Now move a little to the left So I can get TBS I can hear the empty cans of hair spray rattle when he walks That thing lists like a satellite when he talks There's a gaping hole in the ozone over that hair constellation That shit's giving me nightmares like Ringu And that's another annoying thing, too That hair's in my peripheral vision 24/7 And at a quarter to eleven I can still see a quarter of Phil's hair in the sky As it sets in the West and in the East It rises like yeast It's the key to Middle East Peace And it soothes the savage beast But dammit, man How come I always get seated behind Phil Spector at the goddamned movies? Milestones1982: Rok Finger's scheduled sex change operation is cancelled when he's told the technology does not yet exist to change your sex from "Bone Dry in Death Valley" to "Gettin' Some."Now HiringGoofus. Extreme cosmic fuck-up needed to offset commune staff as a whole boatload of Gallants. Pratfalls a plus. Strike that: Apparently we already filled this position with some Pludd guy months ago. Thought he was just an office in-joke, sorry.Least Popular April Fools' Pranks
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