You need a newer browser.

02/22/26   
To protect and sever

Self-Fornicated

by Martha Vandella
bio/email
May 30, 2005
Kiss me, you beast with the golden toes
the arches of your eyebrows like a broken McDonald's sign
the smacky wetness of your lips like the maw
of a paint-stained flower (love me, Venus Flytrap)

Absorb me
swallow me whole
crush my bones with teeth
chewing me like Laffy Taffy

I am whole once again
your are a hole, once again
I fall into you
never hitting bottom

I am a bowel movement
squeezing from your rectum
into the big porcelain void that is you
out of you (into you again)

My heart is like a snake eating itself
or a penis tucked into its owner's butthole
like the disgusting imagery in a Museum of the Grody
and I am the custodian

I am you
you are me
neither of us are welcome
at Open Mic Night anymore


Quote of the Day
“I have not yet begun to fight! When I have begun, it will look quite different. Fists will be flying about, and you will hear a high-pitched whistling sort of sound that will actually be a scream. In fact—I'll make a little hand gesture to let you know. When you see that, that will let you know I'm fighting.”

-John Paul Jones Ringo
Fortune 500 Cookie
That tumor-sized growth isn't what you thought, but it could mean big money, so don't despair. One homosexual dream doesn't make you gay, but try one more. What are you in the mood for tonight? Roasted chicken, with sautéed potatoes. Eat less fiber, what the hell. Lucky numbers 10, 10, 34, 10, and 194.


Try again later.
QVC Top Sellers
1.Edible Bacon Sleeping Mask
2.Avocado Clock
3.Big Bag 'o Cubic Zirconiums
4.Electronic Feces Sniffer
5."Great Jews of the 60's" Trading Card Set
Archives
Brandy is Dandy
Brandy is dandy and wine is fine but liquor is quicker and vodka divine. Gin makes you sicker and slows down your ticker when you pull down your knickers so more freely to bicker. Thunderbird is a wonder, stirred and Night Train ... (5/9/05)

My Love is Like an Orange
My Love is Like an Orange, all shiny and orange and filled with a citrus burst to quench your lonely thirst. My love is not like porridge or storage or forage For my love is like an orange and… Bugger, nothing rhymes with orange.... (4/11/05)

Blown by the Sun
The night air like a cheese, perfumed with sea water A blocky, leaky, laggy cheese coating us all We the three of us tramp through Panama City Selling fake insurance policies for a dollar to The tourists The cops roust us here and there, upon... (4/4/05)

more