02/8/26
Makes its own gravy
|  Brandy is Dandyby Jay Salinas   May 9, 2005 Brandy is dandy
and wine is fine but liquor is quicker and vodka divine. Gin makes you sicker and slows down your ticker when you pull down your knickers so more freely to bicker. Thunderbird is a wonder, stirred and Night Train makes my veins strain to carry some of that good stuff to my heart. Bacardi? Sounds like a party, Marty best not to be tardy if you want any more than a sip. But far finer than beer is Everclear, the king of all the liquors. And when you wake you'll contemplate why your ass is packed with Snickers. And why a train in the Alps? Complain and with distain I shall mock thee. For to wake like such is really too much more than the finest hopes worth hoping. A sewer that's newer or a brewer reviewer's front lawn: now those are blackout locations. In a cage of bamboo in the hills of Peru, that's practically a vacation. In a birch bark canoe impaled on a pool cue, sure beats waking up on a space station. As a victim of kung-fu realizing you swallowed a kazoo, still beats the men's room of a gas station. All covered in glue sick with the Vietnamese flu, at least then you're free from temptation. On the campus of Screw U with a tattooed wazoo? At least you're getting an education. In the cartoon milieu with Yogi and Booboo, that, my friend, will earn you a standing ovation. But on the lamb with Pooh for murdering Kanga and Roo? Yeah, you could probably do better than that. Best to cut back on the Bacardi, sicko. Quote of the Day“Any man who serves as his own lawyer has a fool for a client. Because think about it, stupid, why you gonna pay some guy who didn't even go to law school? That's just dumb. And how do you pay yourself, anyway? Take your money out of one pocket and put it in the other? Silly. Or maybe you've got to hire a neutral third party to take the money and then hand it back to you, like a lawyer or somebody. Shit, this is gettin' expensive.”-Dred Scott Drummond Fortune 500 CookieYou're simply the best, and that depresses us all. The next time you're on trial for murder, don't forget to mention that a Klondike bar was involved. And if you must ask for a lawyer who can get you off, at least try not to do it with that smarmy leer in your eye. Try chewing your food an odd number of times this week, like 6,372. This week's lucky injuries: hangnail, hangankle, ruptured spleen, stabitosis.Try again later. Most Popular US Flag-themed Paraphernalia
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Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.