04/30/26
Eat shit and prosper
|  My Love is Like an Orangeby Zanzibar McNally   April 11, 2005 My Love is Like an Orange,
all shiny and orange and filled with a citrus burst to quench your lonely thirst. My love is not like porridge or storage or forage For my love is like an orange and… Bugger, nothing rhymes with orange. Nevermind. My Love is Like Silver lightning-quick and quite valuable but with great heat it is malleable to the shape of your heart or at least the romantic heart-shape as it commonly appears since a real heart-shape would just look weird. My love is not like a sliver or pilfer or Dilbert For my love is like silver and… Fuck me twice! My Love is Like a Month long and neatly ordered and on a calendar it's bordered by your graceful face and little flower shapes. My love is not like a mouth or a dunce or a billionth For my love is like a month and… Oh, fuck it all. My love is like a goddamned flower. Quote of the Day“the commune is back? All right! Wait, what the fuck is the commune? What? Now I’m going to kick your ass for getting me excited for nothing.”-Ron Tangley Fortune 500 CookieThis is the week everything changes for you. Yep, even those underwear. Go get a spatula. We all agree that your breasts are attractive, but usually a guy needs a follow-up act to really reel in the ladies. Try learning to play the lute this week, just carrying it around isn’t impressing anyone. This week’s lucky fuckers: Fucker G. Robinson (the world’s second-richest and seventh-most-Try again later. Least Popular |
| 1. | Fat kid re-enacting his favorite scenes from Citizen Kane |
| 2. | World of Warcraft online players expressing crippling loneliness they feel |
| 3. | Totally hot chick in skirt does routine car maintenance |
| 4. | Trailer for Julia Roberts' Mary Reilly 2 |
| 5. | Manson gets one side of Rubik's Cube all red |
Blown by the Sun
The night air like a cheese, perfumed with sea water A blocky, leaky, laggy cheese coating us all We the three of us tramp through Panama City Selling fake insurance policies for a dollar to The tourists The cops roust us here and there, upon... (4/4/05)
Motherfucker Goose
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe she had so many children she didn't even have to work I had to support them all because she's a liar Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone I porked the old crow ... (3/7/05)
Quadrophonia
Love is a many-splendored thing with tentacles. "Ding-dong, the witch has snacks, that Rax hires blacks and Jack hates jacks. Which old witch? Fool, how many witches you know? Shiiiit." Felt manacles felt fantastical when I was... (2/28/05)
The night air like a cheese, perfumed with sea water A blocky, leaky, laggy cheese coating us all We the three of us tramp through Panama City Selling fake insurance policies for a dollar to The tourists The cops roust us here and there, upon... (4/4/05)
Motherfucker Goose
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe she had so many children she didn't even have to work I had to support them all because she's a liar Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone I porked the old crow ... (3/7/05)
Quadrophonia
Love is a many-splendored thing with tentacles. "Ding-dong, the witch has snacks, that Rax hires blacks and Jack hates jacks. Which old witch? Fool, how many witches you know? Shiiiit." Felt manacles felt fantastical when I was... (2/28/05)
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.