My Love is Like an Orange

by Zanzibar McNally

April 11, 2005

My Love is Like an Orange,
all shiny and orange
and filled with a citrus burst
to quench your lonely thirst.

My love is not like porridge
or storage
or forage

For my love is like an orange
andâ€¦

Bugger, nothing rhymes with orange.

Nevermind.

My Love is Like Silver
lightning-quick and quite valuable
but with great heat it is malleable
to the shape of your heart
or at least the romantic heart-shape as it commonly appears
since a real heart-shape would just look weird.

My love is not like a sliver
or pilfer
or Dilbert

For my love is like silver
andâ€¦

Fuck me twice!

My Love is Like a Month
long and neatly ordered
and on a calendar it's bordered
by your graceful face and little flower shapes.

My love is not like a mouth
or a dunce
or a billionth

For my love is like a month
andâ€¦

Oh, fuck it all. My love is like a goddamned flower.

Quote of the Day

“Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel. The second to last refuge of the scoundrel is a cave in the Ozarks. Third to last? Under the bed in a four-star hotel in Paris. Fourth? Puns. Puns are the fourth-to-last refuge of the scoundrel.”

-Johnuel Samson

Fortune 500 Cookie

Whoever cut your jib, they fucked it all up, dude. Try wearing more spandex this week, your current quantities aren't providing sufficient coverage. Remember: an ounce of prevention is worth an inch of milk-fed veal. This week's lucky pizza restaurant mascots: The Noidette, Little Greaser, Humpy the Pizza Camel, "Cheese Dick" Richard Romano, Lumpy-Thighed Sex Goddess Valotta Ricotta.

Try again later.

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