My Love is Like an Orange

by Zanzibar McNally

April 11, 2005

My Love is Like an Orange,
all shiny and orange
and filled with a citrus burst
to quench your lonely thirst.

My love is not like porridge
or storage
or forage

For my love is like an orange
andâ€¦

Bugger, nothing rhymes with orange.

Nevermind.

My Love is Like Silver
lightning-quick and quite valuable
but with great heat it is malleable
to the shape of your heart
or at least the romantic heart-shape as it commonly appears
since a real heart-shape would just look weird.

My love is not like a sliver
or pilfer
or Dilbert

For my love is like silver
andâ€¦

Fuck me twice!

My Love is Like a Month
long and neatly ordered
and on a calendar it's bordered
by your graceful face and little flower shapes.

My love is not like a mouth
or a dunce
or a billionth

For my love is like a month
andâ€¦

Oh, fuck it all. My love is like a goddamned flower.

Quote of the Day

“What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. Jesus, I'm wasted.”

-Dan Quayle

Fortune 500 Cookie

Don't stop thinking about tomorrowâ€”we hear if you're late to your own castration they charge double. Anyone can be a hero to a small child, just buy a monster truck and never take your sunglasses off. Try eating more greens: we find it hilarious and it pisses off those asshole golfers. This week's lucky medical procedures not covered by Medicaid: assectomy, therapeutic genital massage, gene therapy for "itchy taint," installation of a second "failsafe" spare heartâ€”baboon or otherwise, and goat removal.

Try again later.

Least Requested Christmas Gifts

1.	Sleepover at Neverland Ranch
2.	Likes-it-Rough Elmo
3.	Virtual Crackbaby
4.	Inoperable Brain Tumor
5.	Hot Toddy, the hottest doll of 1922
6.	New Matrix sequels
7.	Saddam Hussein action figure with Hideaway Hovel playset
8.	Online Predator Chat for X-Box Live
9.	Four More Years
10.	No Hope for the Holidays, an all-star Christmas Depression

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