My Love is Like an Orange

by Zanzibar McNally

April 11, 2005

My Love is Like an Orange,
all shiny and orange
and filled with a citrus burst
to quench your lonely thirst.

My love is not like porridge
or storage
or forage

For my love is like an orange
andâ€¦

Bugger, nothing rhymes with orange.

Nevermind.

My Love is Like Silver
lightning-quick and quite valuable
but with great heat it is malleable
to the shape of your heart
or at least the romantic heart-shape as it commonly appears
since a real heart-shape would just look weird.

My love is not like a sliver
or pilfer
or Dilbert

For my love is like silver
andâ€¦

Fuck me twice!

My Love is Like a Month
long and neatly ordered
and on a calendar it's bordered
by your graceful face and little flower shapes.

My love is not like a mouth
or a dunce
or a billionth

For my love is like a month
andâ€¦

Oh, fuck it all. My love is like a goddamned flower.

Milestones

1992: Lil Duncan's alternative band Fuck Off is signed to a major label, on the condition they replace Lil and change their name to The Cranberries.

Now Hiring

Genie. Duties include magically delivering gifts of high monetary and social value on demand. Must have own lamp or bottle, no backtalk. Evil "wish becomes curse"-type genies need not apply.

Worst-Selling Breakfast Cereals

1.	Scroats!
2.	Branimal Crackers
3.	Frosted Mini-Thins
4.	Too Much Fibre
5.	Vitamin Pill Crunch
6.	Unlucky Leprechaun Pocket Fuzz
7.	Byproducts
8.	Easter Peeps in Milk (milk included)
9.	Youâ€™ve Got Crabs
10.	Beano: The Cereal

Blown by the Sun
The night air like a cheese, perfumed with sea water A blocky, leaky, laggy cheese coating us all We the three of us tramp through Panama City Selling fake insurance policies for a dollar to The tourists The cops roust us here and there, upon... (4/4/05)

Motherfucker Goose
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe she had so many children she didn't even have to work I had to support them all because she's a liar Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone I porked the old crow ... (3/7/05)

Quadrophonia
Love is a many-splendored thing with tentacles. "Ding-dong, the witch has snacks, that Rax hires blacks and Jack hates jacks. Which old witch? Fool, how many witches you know? Shiiiit." Felt manacles felt fantastical when I was... (2/28/05)