I've been hearing a lot of this controversy on the film Diary of a Mad Black Woman. There are many who claim critics have unfairly slammed the movie, that they haven't looked below the surface to find the real value of the film, and instead have missed the enjoyment of it since it comes from a black perspective unfamiliar to many critics. To them, I can only respond that I haven't seen the film yet myself, but have heard it was based on a one-man stage play. Immediately the words "self-indulgent" and "crashing down on the shoulders of an egoistical star" come to mind. It's possible I'm being harsh and premature, but again I remind you—it's based on a one-man stage play. But enough of the what's new; let's check out what's old.

Now on DVD:

The Incredibles
It's incredibly predictable. Actually, the most incredible thing about it was Craig T. Nelson made it back to the big screen, even in voice form. A run-of-the-mill family film about a family of super-heroes. See it without your family, and learn to truly hate children. At least the grating members of the audience with their loud crying, constant talking, and running loose in every direction got a sincere emotional response from me. It worked in reverse as well. You should have seen them cry when I unloaded my daring wit upon them.

What the Bleep Do We Know
It's possible my mother came up with the title of this film, it sounds like something she would say. If a film is going to come up with a daring title and translate it into cutesy code language for us, we can well imagine that a daring idea has been curbed, cut, and trimmed to fit into an easily-palatable sub-philosophical film that makes for two hours of the obvious. Consider it a Passion of the Christ for every New Age weirdo in your life. This film will change your life, if your life had centered around hoping to like this film beforehand. Otherwise, it's merely shelf-filler.

Finding Neverland
A film tailor-made for everyone who thought, "I would love to see a biopic about how a writer comes up with the idea for his masterpiece, and yet take nothing away from the experience." Possibly directed by a robot, although they gave it the cleverly human-sounding name Marc Forster. It doesn't do anything particularly wrong; it doesn't do particularly anything. Even Johnny Depp, who can make a memorable performance in detritus like Pirates of the Carribean, is just there in this film. Many critics will respect what it's about, and the fact it doesn't seem to fail in specific ways, but even the people who worked on it wouldn't pick it as their favorite film of 2004, it's simply too forgettable. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you've seen it already, and are merely getting it confused with some other movie. This is the one about the Peter Pan author, not the one about the blind piano-player. C'est la vie. At least they acknowledged there are people who write books, that's something
commendable.

That's a slew of the latest DVD reviews. Thanks for reading "Entertainment Police," or as I'm considering re-titling my entries, "Dirt From a Dissed White Boy."

March 7, 2005
Hold the onions, America. Roland McShyster is in a "here" kind of mood and there ain't no mountain high enough to stop me from reviewing this week's new releases. Maybe Rushmore. That's a pretty tall mountain. What's that one in Korea? K12? Leave it... (3/7/05)

Oscar's Worst
In celebration of the Oscars, my personal favorite annual travesty of cinema, I thought I would forego the usual DVD review for my recollections on the worst of all Oscar winners. True, it's mostly because there are few, if any, first-run movies... (2/28/05)

Osctoberfest 2005
Grab your nuts and yank, America, it's Oscars time! What some have called "the most wonderful time of the year" in a mistaken interpretation of Christmas songs is finally upon us. The glitz, the glamour, and the total disrespect for artistic... (2/21/05)

February 14, 2005
Friendly nods to everyone. We're officially in movie drought territory at the box office, as we finish watching the underwhelming Oscar nominees and wait for the true summer blockbuster trash to blow in once again. DVDs offer our best hope for... (2/14/05)