![]() Motherfucker Gooseby Richard Stooter ![]() ![]() March 7, 2005 There was an old woman who
lived in a shoe she had so many children she didn't even have to work I had to support them all because she's a liar Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone I porked the old crow but don't let my friends know it was, like, 4 a.m. and I hadn't been lucky all night As I was going to St. Ives I met a man with seven wives it's my friend, Gary, ol' G-Dawg I'm not sure whose wives they all were Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep so she smacks his ass with her gigantic staff until he learns his lesson or the hour he paid for is up the costume costs extra Wee Willy Winky shut-up, bitch, the hot tub was cold There was a young guy named Dick whose psychiatrist said he was sick he suffers from permanent arrested development because his mother domineered and his dad was quite queer but at least he got a few poems out of all of it Quote of the Day“A little bad taste is like a dash of paprika. A lot of bad taste, like a grinder full of cayenne pepper. And doing that annoying Cajun guy impression while doing anything—well, that's just beyond bad taste.”-Dirty Parkbench Fortune 500 CookieIn the annals of history, there has always been one man who laughs uncontrollably whenever someone says "annals"—that's your legacy. Turn up the heat this week, 'cause that fucking turkey has been in the oven since Saturday. If you can't beat them, join them, and show them what real losers they are for accepting you into the group. Lucky bastards this week are Tom Monroe, Pete Gelbart, Judy Simon, and that son you're pretty sure is living in Winnipeg now.Try again later. Top Wastes of Time
![]() Quadrophonia Love is a many-splendored thing with tentacles. "Ding-dong, the witch has snacks, that Rax hires blacks and Jack hates jacks. Which old witch? Fool, how many witches you know? Shiiiit." Felt manacles felt fantastical when I was... (2/28/05) Popular Road I rode a horse on a winding path And saw before me, though I'm bad at math The path became two roads ahead One rocky and coarse, a bitch to tread The safer course, apparent to sight Was clean-cut and easy, a porridge "just right" With... (2/7/05) The Road to Budokan On the road to Budokan I met a man named Rama Dan. And Rama Dan had a dog named Frog, who hopped like the same. Frog also wore a green polystyrene suit, serving to make the resemblance more acute. Frog didn't know what a frog was or that... (1/31/05) ![]() ![]() ![]() |