Quadrophoniaby Violet Tiara ![]() February 28, 2005 Love is a many-splendored thing
with tentacles. "Ding-dong, the witch has snacks, that Rax hires blacks and Jack hates jacks. Which old witch? Fool, how many witches you know? Shiiiit." Felt manacles felt fantastical when I was bound to the brownie hound (a giant cartoon dog with a love for fudge, not my dirty neighbor who mooned the judge). To judge the moon is to prune your doom, its mood is construed as rude by those who've measured its glows. The hose grows a nose when I close my eyes to a slit but peek a bit and the world lies in blurs the size of the space on my face where the air escapes. Seeping sleep hisses out of your pores while little brother pisses on lists of chores animal crackers crack under the weight of a mailman waiting for Annabelle's date. Joy, joy, the Christmas bear flew into a rage and pulled out his hair, Dancing Clancey's pants were fancy enough that the cops took an interest in him and made him down a fifth of gin before they made him spin spin spin! Like a sprinkler of vomit a comet of bile shot from poor Clancey's face-part while the cops ran for cover and Eldaway's mother opened an umbrella just in time and I ate a lime just to make it rhyme. Quote of the Day“Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel. The second to last refuge of the scoundrel is a cave in the Ozarks. Third to last? Under the bed in a four-star hotel in Paris. Fourth? Puns. Puns are the fourth-to-last refuge of the scoundrel.”-Johnuel Samson Fortune 500 CookieWhoever cut your jib, they fucked it all up, dude. Try wearing more spandex this week, your current quantities aren't providing sufficient coverage. Remember: an ounce of prevention is worth an inch of milk-fed veal. This week's lucky pizza restaurant mascots: The Noidette, Little Greaser, Humpy the Pizza Camel, "Cheese Dick" Richard Romano, Lumpy-Thighed Sex Goddess Valotta Ricotta.Try again later. Least Popular Baby |
| 1. | Katrina |
| 2. | Gigli |
| 3. | Scott Peterson |
| 4. | The King of Pop |
| 5. | Skullfuck |