Quadrophoniaby Violet Tiara ![]() February 28, 2005 Love is a many-splendored thing
with tentacles. "Ding-dong, the witch has snacks, that Rax hires blacks and Jack hates jacks. Which old witch? Fool, how many witches you know? Shiiiit." Felt manacles felt fantastical when I was bound to the brownie hound (a giant cartoon dog with a love for fudge, not my dirty neighbor who mooned the judge). To judge the moon is to prune your doom, its mood is construed as rude by those who've measured its glows. The hose grows a nose when I close my eyes to a slit but peek a bit and the world lies in blurs the size of the space on my face where the air escapes. Seeping sleep hisses out of your pores while little brother pisses on lists of chores animal crackers crack under the weight of a mailman waiting for Annabelle's date. Joy, joy, the Christmas bear flew into a rage and pulled out his hair, Dancing Clancey's pants were fancy enough that the cops took an interest in him and made him down a fifth of gin before they made him spin spin spin! Like a sprinkler of vomit a comet of bile shot from poor Clancey's face-part while the cops ran for cover and Eldaway's mother opened an umbrella just in time and I ate a lime just to make it rhyme. Quote of the Day“The Devil finds work for idle hands. It's all part-time clerical work, but the pay is kick-ass. The Devil is no longer hiring for assembly work.”-Ted's Big Book of Bible Fortune 500 CookieThis week you'll finally get that pot to piss in, but before you start unzipping, we should warn you it's second-hand. Turn on, tune in, and drop out—you've missed too many days in that computer programming class. Look for a bright-eyed Aries to take away all your troubles when she shoots you in the throat. Lucky scams this week: Pyramid, carnival ring toss, Florida voter roll purges, and it's okay, I had a vasectomy.Try again later. More Top Rejected Muppets
Popular Road I rode a horse on a winding path And saw before me, though I'm bad at math The path became two roads ahead One rocky and coarse, a bitch to tread The safer course, apparent to sight Was clean-cut and easy, a porridge "just right" With... (2/7/05) The Road to Budokan On the road to Budokan I met a man named Rama Dan. And Rama Dan had a dog named Frog, who hopped like the same. Frog also wore a green polystyrene suit, serving to make the resemblance more acute. Frog didn't know what a frog was or that... (1/31/05) Drained Heart My heart is empty like the keg on the porch Why, Denise, why? To drive home is ... (1/17/05) |