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11/30/25   
Sliding down the razor blade of happiness into the alcohol of joy

Popular Road

by Sampson L. Hartwig
bio/email
February 7, 2005
I rode a horse on a winding path
And saw before me, though I'm bad at math
The path became two roads ahead
One rocky and coarse, a bitch to tread

The safer course, apparent to sight
Was clean-cut and easy, a porridge "just right"
With either path my choice to choose
I took the path less apt to bruise

Yes, I took the road well-traveled
And my seams kept sewn, my sweater stayed raveled
My shoes suffered no pain or remorse
Nor did my steed—just ask my horse



Sure, it was crowded, and baked by the sun
And assholes surrounded by whole metric ton
Paved by cruelty and sadness and greed
And it smelled like someone had been toking weed

Maybe I got there two hours later
And missed the buffet of free steak and taters
But anything's better than being some jerk
Who brags about taking the path of more work


Milestones
1749: At this site, in 1749, nothing happened.
Now Hiring
Bag Man. Some kind of illegal-parcel-delivering hobo needed to transport sensitive packages and sleep in our dumpster. Five years dumpster-sleeping experience required. Keeping your big mouth shut skills a plus.
Top 5 Concessions to Iran for Freeing British Prisoners
1.Give Iranian cricket team real shot at the World Cup
2.Current prisoners traded for Ian MacKellen, who can hopefully deliver more convincing confession
3.Just one more season of Ricky Gervais' The Office
4.Three words: Spandau Ballet Reunion
5.Stab at pissing off the second-largest military force in the West before taking on the biggest not as successful as expected
Archives
The Road to Budokan
On the road to Budokan I met a man named Rama Dan. And Rama Dan had a dog named Frog, who hopped like the same. Frog also wore a green polystyrene suit, serving to make the resemblance more acute. Frog didn't know what a frog was or that... (1/31/05)

Drained Heart
My heart is empty like the keg on the porch Why, Denise, why? To drive home is ... (1/17/05)

Party Girl
Paris Hilton can kiss my ass, since when is that bitch the Head of the Class? That greasy skank's a Dennis who can't bring no menace. That's if she even knows what an ass is! Man, I've got an ass that surpasses, she barely even has one... (12/20/04)

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