Popular Road

by Sampson L. Hartwig

February 7, 2005

I rode a horse on a winding path
And saw before me, though I'm bad at math
The path became two roads ahead
One rocky and coarse, a bitch to tread

The safer course, apparent to sight
Was clean-cut and easy, a porridge "just right"
With either path my choice to choose
I took the path less apt to bruise

Yes, I took the road well-traveled
And my seams kept sewn, my sweater stayed raveled
My shoes suffered no pain or remorse
Nor did my steedâ€”just ask my horse

Sure, it was crowded, and baked by the sun
And assholes surrounded by whole metric ton
Paved by cruelty and sadness and greed
And it smelled like someone had been toking weed

Maybe I got there two hours later
And missed the buffet of free steak and taters
But anything's better than being some jerk
Who brags about taking the path of more work

Quote of the Day

“Even the smallest man among us can accomplish truly great things. And when it's over, it takes less beer for him to get drunk. That is truly great.”

-Leonard Rutland, Professional Drinking Fisherman

Fortune 500 Cookie

What are you keeping that scab for? Throw that thing away already, for Christ's sake. Too many cooks spoil the broth, and so does putting sun-dried mayonnaise in it. Remember when dad told you you'd one day do something great? You will this weekâ€”remember he said that, that is.

Try again later.

Top Scientific Discoveries, Week of 5/21/07

1.	People hoarding "Forever" stamps deficient in inflation-understanding genes
2.	Long middle fingers connected to aggressive tendencies in men
3.	Fish oil aids in weight loss by grossing you all the fuck out
4.	Most effective beauty tip for women: Get men drunk
5.	Gay animals choose homosexual lifestyle

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