Drained Heart

by Bartimere Gong

January 17, 2005

My heart
is
empty
like the keg
on
the porch
Why, Denise,
why?

To drive home
is
fine
designated driver
you
volunteered

But to drive
home
with Mitch
Mitch the
Bitch
we call him

Why, Denise,
why?

They all say
he
bags everybody
will fuck
any
thing in a skirt
That includes
Mac
Kenna the Scottish
Exchange Student
No
I do not shit you

Why, Denise,
why?

I will still
take
you back
unless
you
fucked him

Even
I
have standards

Quote of the Day

“Give a man a fish, he eats today. Hide a fish in his jacket pocket and watch him go batshit trying to find where the smell's coming from.”

-John J. Jesusheimer Schmidt

Fortune 500 Cookie

Turns out your suspicions are correct and that Maurice Sendak book has been about you all this time. Peer-to-peer file-sharing claims its first victim when Metallica shows up at your house to beat the shit out of you. Remember to practice what you preach, because your preaching has been really amateur lately. Lucky numbers are all in Spanish this week.

Try again later.

Top Mike Tyson Hotel Brawl Excuses

1.	Men insulted Tyson's little yappy dog.
2.	"Dude reminded me that I raped his sister."
3.	Tyson heard bell ring in lobby.
4.	Victim reminded Mike of "Little Mac."
5.	Men taunted Tyson with their delicious-looking ears.

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Paris Hilton can kiss my ass, since when is that bitch the Head of the Class? That greasy skank's a Dennis who can't bring no menace. That's if she even knows what an ass is! Man, I've got an ass that surpasses, she barely even has one... (12/20/04)

New Diet!
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