Drained Heart

by Bartimere Gong

January 17, 2005

My heart
is
empty
like the keg
on
the porch
Why, Denise,
why?

To drive home
is
fine
designated driver
you
volunteered

But to drive
home
with Mitch
Mitch the
Bitch
we call him

Why, Denise,
why?

They all say
he
bags everybody
will fuck
any
thing in a skirt
That includes
Mac
Kenna the Scottish
Exchange Student
No
I do not shit you

Why, Denise,
why?

I will still
take
you back
unless
you
fucked him

Even
I
have standards

Milestones

2004: President Bush, in a farewell address to the nation, apologizes for corruption in his administration and senseless slaughter of American lives, as well as the mangling of the language (courtesy of Future Bob).

Now Hiring

New Now Hiring Guy. What can we say? Richie quit. Stupid, if you ask us. It was a sweet gig. Most of time he never even got any applications or resumes to review. He just made up half these jobs, but don't tell anyone we said so. You just can't make some people happy.

Top 5 Insulting Epithets for Straight White Middle-Class Males

1.	Own-Everythingers
2.	Blues-Stealing Crackers
3.	Network Programmers
4.	The Men Who Ruin Dancing
5.	Hey, Fattiesâ€”You're Fat, Fatties

Party Girl
Paris Hilton can kiss my ass, since when is that bitch the Head of the Class? That greasy skank's a Dennis who can't bring no menace. That's if she even knows what an ass is! Man, I've got an ass that surpasses, she barely even has one... (12/20/04)

New Diet!
Quiet! I'm going on a new diet! Now don't deny it, you know you wanna try it! Because a diet's way easier to do when the whole big world's on it with you! Gonna lose that baby fat that's been lurking around my tummy like a tapeworm ... (12/6/04)

Peace Frog
There's blood in the streets, there's meat on these sheets. What am I, sleeping with a butcher? Napping on crazy wax paper wrapped in crap vapors dreaming of walking on gongs past a sleeping pitbull. Goddamn is this song loud... (11/15/04)