02/10/26
Red Bagel schlepped here
|  Peace Frogby Laurence Trundle Lawrence   November 15, 2004 There's blood in the streets,
there's meat on these sheets. What am I, sleeping with a butcher? Napping on crazy wax paper wrapped in crap vapors dreaming of walking on gongs past a sleeping pitbull. Goddamn is this song loud carpeting the air like a plumber who woke up and forgot what his goddamned job was and just started carpeting everything. Crazy fuck. Chicago's overrated. I once dated a girl from Chicago and she wasn't that great. Birds swoop down like marionettes on a string in some kind of puppet show about birds or something. Blood stains the palm trees like a toilet brush from a bloody toilet. Jesus, how did that happen?? Yuck. There's a trash can full of homosexual Easter candies if you're interested. What if there were a holiday called Homosexual Easter ? Would you take the day off work? Or would you just show up anyway and work so nobody thought you were queer? That s a tough one. I once rode a boat through a river of sadness. Man did that suck. But I wrote a haiku on the ride: I once kissed an overweight Eskimo Don't ask, it's nobody you would know She smelled kind of crappy and she looked sort of Jappy come to think of it, what kind of chick is named Elmo? Shit, that's not a haiku, it s a limerick. Gotta remember: the Japs eat the fish, the Irish drink like fish. Christ, it's still raining blood out there. What a perfect day to call in sick. I wonder if I could still get paid if I say it's Homosexual Easter? Quote of the Day“A little bad taste is like a dash of paprika. A lot of bad taste, like a grinder full of cayenne pepper. And doing that annoying Cajun guy impression while doing anything—well, that's just beyond bad taste.”-Dirty Parkbench Fortune 500 CookieIn the annals of history, there has always been one man who laughs uncontrollably whenever someone says "annals"—that's your legacy. Turn up the heat this week, 'cause that fucking turkey has been in the oven since Saturday. If you can't beat them, join them, and show them what real losers they are for accepting you into the group. Lucky bastards this week are Tom Monroe, Pete Gelbart, Judy Simon, and that son you're pretty sure is living in Winnipeg now.Try again later. Top Nicknames for Each Toe
 Dromediary Long and hairy luminaries hang from the sky and dangle scary fingers downward in repose just itching to twitch and pick my nose. Prescient crescents— the cartoon moons fill the sky to seven deep with beauty to cause my golden weep as I... (10/18/04) Ray Manatino's Half-Remembered Classics Jack Sprat could eat no fat but his wife was a big fat bitch. Shit could she eat, she ate all my beets and my pickled pig's feets. Next week poker's at your house, Jack. The itsy, bitsy, spider crawled up the water spout. I almost fucking died,... (9/20/04) Whistlepig Loud and sweet, the howling of the whistlepig erects my nipples like sails taut in the wind. Sailfish taught me to win by cheating at cards, like a cardinal at charms or an oriole with arms. Whistlepig, whistlepig, let me in, caught by... (8/23/04)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.