11/24/25
Rock the bloat
|  Dromediaryby Violet Tiara   October 18, 2004 Long and hairy luminaries
hang from the sky and dangle scary fingers downward in repose just itching to twitch and pick my nose. Prescient crescents— the cartoon moons fill the sky to seven deep with beauty to cause my golden weep as I burp softly in my sleep. Luminous cumulous clouds form a shroud around "Downtown" Julie Brown who just stopped by to make a sound like a grandfather clock winding down. The night is lacquered on my crackers a taste familiar to midnight snackers the milk is sweetly, sickly sour when filtered through the midnight hour. The juice is ruthless as my sweet tooth is not satisfied by fried rice pies this milky morsel's second course is touched by meat from hobby horses. Deaf angels sing out of key on my balcony as Mr T tells me to breathe through the button hole in my sleeve. Song birds sing the wrong words with breath that smells like dog turds as long herds of banisters race the staircase twisting down to infamy. Breezy curtains swing ruining everything as my hair blows up a goat's nose and I rose to piss like a fire hose. Quote of the Day“Sometimes when we touch the honesty's too much. Okay, you want the truth? It's not the honesty. It's that really rough patch of skin you have. Have you ever been to a doctor for shingles?”-Hildy Daniels Fortune 500 CookieThis Bud's for you; at least, that's what I'm telling the cops if they pull us over. You'll be horrified to learn that woman you've been ogling in that "Physical" video for years is mom. White man finally break treaty again, just like you been expecting all these years. Take the Rockford Files theme off your answering machine already, the joke was old in 1994.Try again later. 5 Spin-Offs That Died in Production
 Ray Manatino's Half-Remembered Classics Jack Sprat could eat no fat but his wife was a big fat bitch. Shit could she eat, she ate all my beets and my pickled pig's feets. Next week poker's at your house, Jack. The itsy, bitsy, spider crawled up the water spout. I almost fucking died,... (9/20/04) Whistlepig Loud and sweet, the howling of the whistlepig erects my nipples like sails taut in the wind. Sailfish taught me to win by cheating at cards, like a cardinal at charms or an oriole with arms. Whistlepig, whistlepig, let me in, caught by... (8/23/04) I Am the Girl From Nantucket Since I believe my good name and hometown have been slandered long enough, I've endeavored to best (and hopefully replace) the famous ribald limerick that has dogged my earthly days. Stand back and smell the magic: There once was a... (6/28/04)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.