01/9/25
All we are is ducks in the wind
|  I Am the Girl From Nantucketby Chandra Hiccough   June 28, 2004 Since I believe my good name and hometown have been slandered long enough, I've endeavored to best (and hopefully replace) the famous ribald limerick that has dogged my earthly days.
Stand back and smell the magic: There once was a girl from Nantucket, Her anatomy oft compared to a bucket; Unfair was the claim Made against this fair dame, Did I mention her name was... ah, fuck it. Let's try this again. There once was a MAN from Nantucket, Who would eat up clam then upchuck it; So disgusting his trick As to make a girl sick, I wish I'd had the reflexes to duck it. No, no, no. Why do I always end up writing about dad? There once was a man from Toledo, Who could not control his libido; He liked little girls All dressed up in curls, And he watched as he ate his burrito. Damn, grandpa. This is harder than it looks. Sorry everyone. There once was a dog from Ann Arbor, Who loved to swim laps in the harbor; Not even his shrink Could get him to think, There was no harbor in Ann Arbor. Okay, that was just strange. At least I got back to the city name at the end, though. Again. There once was a man from Chicago, Who slurred and drove an old Monte Carlo; He cursed his shit car As it rolled away from the bar, "Hey everybody, look at that Chi-ca-go!" Next. There once was a girl from El Paso, who caught riding bulls with a lasso; But Elle held deep inside Thoughts of suicide, And when hung from the lasso, El Paso. Oh my God. This is getting depressing. There once was a girl from Detroit Who was curious about Being John Voight; Dee pondered the portal And her doubts proved her mortal, But when the time came to try it, Detroit. Hey, not bad, almost there. Ah, who am I kidding? There once was a girl from Miami, whose awful limericks made her friends' palms go clammy; But rather than admit her defeat She conceived this poetic deceit, So sorry for the whammy, Miami. Quote of the Day“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I did not get my head blown off by a gorilla fluent in sign language and wielding a shotgun. He was only a man in a gorilla suit, and the weapon a mere .38 handgun. I just wanted to sound important.”-Mack Twain Fortune 500 CookieIt's about time you learned to play bass. The bad fish you had last weekend will finally cause food poisoning sometime in the next week. With great power comes great responsibility, and sometimes, executive bathroom privileges. Lucky numbers 86, 75, 30, and 9.Try again later. Top Recent Mother Mary Appearances
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Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.