Hungry Like a Wolf

by Laurence Trundle Lawrence

April 5, 2004

I'm hungry like a wolf
that just ate a whole
big-ass bag of Purina
but then he saw something
really funny and was
laughing so hard
he barfed it all up.

Dark in the city, night is a wire,
steam in the subway, earth is a fire.
Holy shit, how can I think about eating at a time like this?
But it doesn't matter, you can't
teach a wolf not to be so goddamned selfish.

A wolf is like a box of chocolates
all full of cherries and nougat
and crazy shit you don't know how it got in there.
A wolf can eat anything,
like a tin can or a soccer ball.
They're like goats except
they can eat goats too.
Goats can't eat other goats
because they're the same size
so they'd explode.
But a wolf will eat your whole box of ding dongs
and look at you like "What?"
right before he pisses all over your stereo.

In touch with the ground,
I'm on the hunt I'm after you.
If you're a tuna sandwich
or something I like, that is.
It's not like I'm gonna eat a
big greasy brick of braunschweiger
or something gross just because I'm hungry.
So I guess in that way I'm not quite
"Hungry like a wolf"
but I'd argue that I'm pretty close.
Maybe like a wolf that's pretty picky,
but that doesn't roll off the tongue
quite so smooth.

Quote of the Day

“A man cannot serve two masters. Unless they are both kung fu masters, in which case he'd better do his damned best. At least until they kill each other in a spectacular bloody finale.”

-Rod Godd

Fortune 500 Cookie

Fine, the stars won't kill you with cancer like they previously promisedâ€¦ big baby. Time to face facts: Those laser discs you socked away are never going to go up in value. Sorry, girlfriend, no visit from the stork for you, but you will get a postcard from a half-crazed seagull. Lucky Sean Penn films: Hurly Burly, Dead Man Walking, I Am Sam, and Supreme Blow-Jobs XXVI.

Try again later.

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