Hungry Like a Wolf

by Laurence Trundle Lawrence

April 5, 2004

I'm hungry like a wolf
that just ate a whole
big-ass bag of Purina
but then he saw something
really funny and was
laughing so hard
he barfed it all up.

Dark in the city, night is a wire,
steam in the subway, earth is a fire.
Holy shit, how can I think about eating at a time like this?
But it doesn't matter, you can't
teach a wolf not to be so goddamned selfish.

A wolf is like a box of chocolates
all full of cherries and nougat
and crazy shit you don't know how it got in there.
A wolf can eat anything,
like a tin can or a soccer ball.
They're like goats except
they can eat goats too.
Goats can't eat other goats
because they're the same size
so they'd explode.
But a wolf will eat your whole box of ding dongs
and look at you like "What?"
right before he pisses all over your stereo.

In touch with the ground,
I'm on the hunt I'm after you.
If you're a tuna sandwich
or something I like, that is.
It's not like I'm gonna eat a
big greasy brick of braunschweiger
or something gross just because I'm hungry.
So I guess in that way I'm not quite
"Hungry like a wolf"
but I'd argue that I'm pretty close.
Maybe like a wolf that's pretty picky,
but that doesn't roll off the tongue
quite so smooth.

Quote of the Day

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores... uh, on second thought, scratch that. If I can pick, don't give me any losers.”

-Emily Dickinsome

Fortune 500 Cookie

Give up the ghost this weekâ€”everybody knows you're drawing those eyebrows on with a magic marker. You may only be a gigolo, but that doesn't mean anybody wants to hear you sing about it. Try naming a constellation after yourself: it worked for that "Chantilly Lace" guy. This week's lucky pets: salamander, ostrich, rutabaga, cow fetus, bottle of deadly germs.

Try again later.

John Kerry's Vision for America

1.	Americans shouldn't be despised everywhere abroad; only France
2.	Health care for each and every American with insurance
3.	A chicken in every pot, and pot for everyone without a chicken
4.	Make Affleck and J-Lo realize they're still in love
5.	Sterilize all Bush males

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