Constantinople (A Spent Tin Colon)

by an anagramical poem by Skippy LeBonne

March 8, 2004

Connie bought an opal
("Abalone coupon night!")
from Constantinople.
(Flint postmen croon. A)

Dennis killed a dentist
(dissident knelt Daniel)
at noon on a weekend.
(down on one knee at a)

Eustace was the loosest
(teahouse. "Slow Cassette,")
old bag at the ball.
(sang Wallet Bloodbath.)

"Skippy LeBonne,
("Penis knob? Yelp!")
what are you on?"
("Wore tuna? Ahoy!")

Rest, wily Sergeant Cher,
(The lyrics were strange.)
these are not your nights.
(Ugh, the nearest sonority)

I swam easy, law
(was miles away.)
did not concern me.
(Did cement corn on)

Cher mutters "Oven off,
(the covers turn me off?)
do not wink."
(I don't know.)

"Ahem... Hulk tit bin
(I think the album,)
is full again."
(alias "Gin Flu,")

"Abscess kit, sud jug...
(just sucked big ass.)
where'd you get all this?"
(The "Swirly Eel" ad ought)

"Do we bleat out?"
(to be outlawed.)
Cher, you crazy bitch...
(Buy other chic, crazy)

It's just a dream.
(U.S. art amid jest)

End it... as...
as I tend.
(instead.)

Quote of the Day

“A man cannot serve two masters. Unless they are both kung fu masters, in which case he'd better do his damned best. At least until they kill each other in a spectacular bloody finale.”

-Rod Godd

Fortune 500 Cookie

Fine, the stars won't kill you with cancer like they previously promisedâ€¦ big baby. Time to face facts: Those laser discs you socked away are never going to go up in value. Sorry, girlfriend, no visit from the stork for you, but you will get a postcard from a half-crazed seagull. Lucky Sean Penn films: Hurly Burly, Dead Man Walking, I Am Sam, and Supreme Blow-Jobs XXVI.

Try again later.

Top 5 Worst Zen Koans

1.	What is the sound of two dogs fucking?
2.	If a tree falls in the woods, doesn't it kill a shitload of ants?
3.	Say, what's the meaning of life?
4.	Worms have no eyebrowsâ€”think about that for a minute
5.	(tie) Where's the beef?/Shut the fuck up

Your Sister?
Your sister? I kissed her, because I thought she was you! â€¦and you had the flu that made you gain a pound or two. Or twenty. Seriously, deliriously I did mack on her lips, but I thought I was eating chips all smothered in dips! ... (2/23/04)

Vaginal Scrape!
Vaginal scrape! Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be... (2/9/04)

Fuckin' Cold
It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04)