Constantinople (A Spent Tin Colon)

by an anagramical poem by Skippy LeBonne

March 8, 2004

Connie bought an opal
("Abalone coupon night!")
from Constantinople.
(Flint postmen croon. A)

Dennis killed a dentist
(dissident knelt Daniel)
at noon on a weekend.
(down on one knee at a)

Eustace was the loosest
(teahouse. "Slow Cassette,")
old bag at the ball.
(sang Wallet Bloodbath.)

"Skippy LeBonne,
("Penis knob? Yelp!")
what are you on?"
("Wore tuna? Ahoy!")

Rest, wily Sergeant Cher,
(The lyrics were strange.)
these are not your nights.
(Ugh, the nearest sonority)

I swam easy, law
(was miles away.)
did not concern me.
(Did cement corn on)

Cher mutters "Oven off,
(the covers turn me off?)
do not wink."
(I don't know.)

"Ahem... Hulk tit bin
(I think the album,)
is full again."
(alias "Gin Flu,")

"Abscess kit, sud jug...
(just sucked big ass.)
where'd you get all this?"
(The "Swirly Eel" ad ought)

"Do we bleat out?"
(to be outlawed.)
Cher, you crazy bitch...
(Buy other chic, crazy)

It's just a dream.
(U.S. art amid jest)

End it... as...
as I tend.
(instead.)

Milestones

1999: Raoul Dunkin's first play, The Touch of Love, is put on in the commune break room by giggling staff reporters who find it unguarded in Dunkin's desk.

Now Hiring

Park Ranger. Duties include curtailing activities of bears, from large-haired picnic-basket stealing fun-lovin' bears to savage, towering vicious grizzly bears. Encountering bears is unlikely within the office, but your presence should finally shut up bear-phobic Ivana Folger-Balzac.

Top Reasons for Quitting Your Job

1.	Nobody likes my dancing
2.	Lunch hour five minutes too short
3.	Work keeps getting in way of Star Trek marathon
4.	Time clock too high to reach
5.	Sick of endless "get dressed, get undressed" grind

Your Sister?
Your sister? I kissed her, because I thought she was you! â€¦and you had the flu that made you gain a pound or two. Or twenty. Seriously, deliriously I did mack on her lips, but I thought I was eating chips all smothered in dips! ... (2/23/04)

Vaginal Scrape!
Vaginal scrape! Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be... (2/9/04)

Fuckin' Cold
It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04)