Constantinople (A Spent Tin Colon)

by an anagramical poem by Skippy LeBonne

March 8, 2004

Connie bought an opal
("Abalone coupon night!")
from Constantinople.
(Flint postmen croon. A)

Dennis killed a dentist
(dissident knelt Daniel)
at noon on a weekend.
(down on one knee at a)

Eustace was the loosest
(teahouse. "Slow Cassette,")
old bag at the ball.
(sang Wallet Bloodbath.)

"Skippy LeBonne,
("Penis knob? Yelp!")
what are you on?"
("Wore tuna? Ahoy!")

Rest, wily Sergeant Cher,
(The lyrics were strange.)
these are not your nights.
(Ugh, the nearest sonority)

I swam easy, law
(was miles away.)
did not concern me.
(Did cement corn on)

Cher mutters "Oven off,
(the covers turn me off?)
do not wink."
(I don't know.)

"Ahem... Hulk tit bin
(I think the album,)
is full again."
(alias "Gin Flu,")

"Abscess kit, sud jug...
(just sucked big ass.)
where'd you get all this?"
(The "Swirly Eel" ad ought)

"Do we bleat out?"
(to be outlawed.)
Cher, you crazy bitch...
(Buy other chic, crazy)

It's just a dream.
(U.S. art amid jest)

End it... as...
as I tend.
(instead.)

Quote of the Day

“A nation divided against itself, times three more nations, plus six more nations and an independent state, divided by two nations, isâ€¦ shit. I always do this. I forgot to carry the remainder. Does anyone have a calculator I can borrow?”

-Abie Lincoln Hayes

Fortune 500 Cookie

Today is the day the son of a bitch finally dies. You know what would be good right about now? Chili con carne. Isn't it funny how the one time you forget to wear a condom is the one time you end up catching a seriously painful contagious disease? Lucky for you, the world can always abide one more asshole.

Try again later.

Top Rejected Cars

1.	Honda Pfffttpp
2.	Chevy Crack Ho
3.	Chrysler on the Cross
4.	Ford Theater
5.	He Ain't Chevy He's My Brother

Your Sister?
Your sister? I kissed her, because I thought she was you! â€¦and you had the flu that made you gain a pound or two. Or twenty. Seriously, deliriously I did mack on her lips, but I thought I was eating chips all smothered in dips! ... (2/23/04)

Vaginal Scrape!
Vaginal scrape! Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be... (2/9/04)

Fuckin' Cold
It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04)