Constantinople (A Spent Tin Colon)

by an anagramical poem by Skippy LeBonne

March 8, 2004

Connie bought an opal
("Abalone coupon night!")
from Constantinople.
(Flint postmen croon. A)

Dennis killed a dentist
(dissident knelt Daniel)
at noon on a weekend.
(down on one knee at a)

Eustace was the loosest
(teahouse. "Slow Cassette,")
old bag at the ball.
(sang Wallet Bloodbath.)

"Skippy LeBonne,
("Penis knob? Yelp!")
what are you on?"
("Wore tuna? Ahoy!")

Rest, wily Sergeant Cher,
(The lyrics were strange.)
these are not your nights.
(Ugh, the nearest sonority)

I swam easy, law
(was miles away.)
did not concern me.
(Did cement corn on)

Cher mutters "Oven off,
(the covers turn me off?)
do not wink."
(I don't know.)

"Ahem... Hulk tit bin
(I think the album,)
is full again."
(alias "Gin Flu,")

"Abscess kit, sud jug...
(just sucked big ass.)
where'd you get all this?"
(The "Swirly Eel" ad ought)

"Do we bleat out?"
(to be outlawed.)
Cher, you crazy bitch...
(Buy other chic, crazy)

It's just a dream.
(U.S. art amid jest)

End it... as...
as I tend.
(instead.)

Milestones

2003: The infamous "Battle of the Bulge" breaks out at when office wench Ivana Folger-Balzac mistakes Ramrod Hurley's beerbelly for a birthing alien larvae and sets into the Acting-Editor with a can opener. The skirmish and resultant standoff lasts 18 hours and claims the lives of several Crochet! magazine staffers, for whom the commune observes a moment of near-silence.

Now Hiring

Sexecutioner. Why does everybody keep laughing when we say that? We need a dude who can kill some fucking people in an official capacity, okay? What's so funny about that? You guys are sick. Anyway, pay commensurate to experience. Must provide own mask, axe, electric chair, whatever floats your boat.

Top Outstanding commune Petty Cash Debts

1.	Raoul Dunkin $974.25 in mental anguish
2.	Smilin' Jack Costello $8, plus interest
3.	Ned Nedmiller 1/8th of a cent
4.	Mazie the Chicken 1 half cup of scratch
5.	You Know Who You Are 1 human gall bladder

Your Sister?
Your sister? I kissed her, because I thought she was you! â€¦and you had the flu that made you gain a pound or two. Or twenty. Seriously, deliriously I did mack on her lips, but I thought I was eating chips all smothered in dips! ... (2/23/04)

Vaginal Scrape!
Vaginal scrape! Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be... (2/9/04)

Fuckin' Cold
It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04)