Your Sister?

by Marcus McFadden

February 23, 2004

Your sister?
I kissed her,
because I thought she was you!
â€¦and you had the flu
that made you gain a pound or two.
Or twenty.
Seriously,
deliriously I did mack on her lips,
but I thought I was eating chips
all smothered in dips!

I was all crazy
and my vision was hazy
because I missed you!
And I thought I kissed you
but I guess I fucked your sister instead.

Did I say "fucked"?
What's wrong with my head?
Just kissed,
don't get so pissed!
She wasn't even that goodâ€¦
How'd I know she would
rip off my clothes
while I was watching my shows?

No I'm not insulting your sister!
I only kissed her,
I wouldn't know if she's awesome in the sack
with her nails down your back
and all that.
I don't know where I heard about that.
I made it up, I slipped on the bath mat
and cracked my skull on the tub
so she gave it a rub.

Hey the girl was confused,
I could have banged my cock on the tub!
Don't act so bruised!
But anyway that's it,
I banged my head and now all this crazy shit
keeps coming out my mouth.
Ignore it,
don't store it for later use
when some dude says your sister is loose.

It ain't an excuse,
so put down that noose!
This ain't no dance and song,
and you should be happy
your sister and I get along!

Damn. You think about it,
I could have rightly have slapped her
for ripping my nice shorts.

I mean I love you.

Quote of the Day

“I got the blues so bad. Real bad. You know what I'm talkin' about? Uh-huh. No fun. Bluesy blues. Well, that's about all I got to say about that. Song's another four minutes long though. Sooooâ€¦ Any of y'all from Cleveland?”

-Ugly Carmichael

Fortune 500 Cookie

You will get kicked in the balls for a good cause this week. Expect a telephone call from a long forgotten friend todayâ€”your split personality from Belgium. Lose the mustache, that "Hitler" look is so 1997. This week's stomach-pump jackpot: $20 in loose change, long-lost stash, grandma's favorite knitting needles, Nerds.

Try again later.

Top Reasons for Honking

1.	Air-horn busted
2.	Thought I saw nipples
3.	Rat-in-road! Rat-in-road!
4.	Song needed a horn part
5.	Lonely
6.	That bumper sticker is right!
7.	Fluent in Morse code and proud of it
8.	Needed to clear path on sidewalk
9.	I know that guy!
10.	Because I can

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Fuckin' Cold
It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04)

I Bought This Memory
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