You need a newer browser.

06/12/26   
Terrifyingly adequate

Your Sister?

by Marcus McFadden
bio/email
February 23, 2004
Your sister?
I kissed her,
because I thought she was you!
…and you had the flu
that made you gain a pound or two.
Or twenty.
Seriously,
deliriously I did mack on her lips,
but I thought I was eating chips
all smothered in dips!

I was all crazy
and my vision was hazy
because I missed you!
And I thought I kissed you
but I guess I fucked your sister instead.

Did I say "fucked"?
What's wrong with my head?
Just kissed,
don't get so pissed!
She wasn't even that good…
How'd I know she would
rip off my clothes
while I was watching my shows?

No I'm not insulting your sister!
I only kissed her,
I wouldn't know if she's awesome in the sack
with her nails down your back
and all that.
I don't know where I heard about that.
I made it up, I slipped on the bath mat
and cracked my skull on the tub
so she gave it a rub.

Hey the girl was confused,
I could have banged my cock on the tub!
Don't act so bruised!
But anyway that's it,
I banged my head and now all this crazy shit
keeps coming out my mouth.
Ignore it,
don't store it for later use
when some dude says your sister is loose.

It ain't an excuse,
so put down that noose!
This ain't no dance and song,
and you should be happy
your sister and I get along!

Damn. You think about it,
I could have rightly have slapped her
for ripping my nice shorts.

I mean I love you.


Milestones
1853: The snorkel is invented, leading indirectly to the conception of commune reporter Lil Duncan several years later. STD specialists from the CDC would eventually send a robot back in time in an attempt to prevent this chain of events from occurring, but tragically this move caused the Short Circuit franchise of films in the 1980's instead.
Now Hiring
Midwife Crisis. Not entirely sure what this is, but the guys thought it would be funny. So… Hmm. Uh… well, if you have experience delivering babies in a dramatic and dangerous fashion, then I suppose you should dust off your résumé. No freaks please.
John Kerry's Vision for America
1.Americans shouldn't be despised everywhere abroad; only France
2.Health care for each and every American with insurance
3.A chicken in every pot, and pot for everyone without a chicken
4.Make Affleck and J-Lo realize they're still in love
5.Sterilize all Bush males
Archives
Vaginal Scrape!
Vaginal scrape! Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be... (2/9/04)

Fuckin' Cold
It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04)

I Bought This Memory
I bought this memory at Walgreens, it was discounted heavily. With it implanted I settled back to enjoy my reverie. But to my dismay I soon realized why this memory had been spurned. It was of eating a stale club sandwich whose mayonnaise... (1/12/04)

more