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01/9/25   
Like a big, gay hat of wisdom

My Dinner with Sanjay: The Screenplay

by Edward Fancy and Sanjay Chokta
bio/email
February 16, 2004
SANJAY: Eddie! How are you?
EDWARD: Sanjay. Good, good. Doing well.
SANJAY: Great.
EDWARD: Fine. (pause) You doing okay?
SANJAY: Super. Just super. (pause) Did you have any trouble finding the…?
EDWARD: No. No. It was easy.
SANJAY: Oh. Good.
EDWARD: I used to have a gym membership at the place at the end of the block.
SANJAY: Oh.
EDWARD: Not that I used it that much.
SANJAY: (laughing) I know what you mean!
EDWARD: (pause) Yep. Not that much.
SANJAY: Right.
EDWARD: Uh-huh.
SANJAY: (pause) Did you, uh… you were looking into buying that Chevelle the last time I saw you.
EDWARD: Yeah, yeah, I remember.
SANJAY: Did that…?
EDWARD: Oh, no. The guy wanted too much.
SANJAY: (pause) That’s too bad.
EDWARD: (pause) It’s okay. (pause) I managed to find a, uh, Dodge about a week later. Cheaper. It runs better, too.
SANJAY: Oh. Good.
EDWARD: I already sold it.
SANJAY: Right. (pause; sigh) So, that Lord of the Rings movie is pretty big right now.
EDWARD: Yeah. Big. (pause) Everybody’s talking about it.
SANJAY: Right. They are. (pause) Did you like it then…?
EDWARD: Oh, I didn’t see it. (pause) I didn’t get around to… not yet.
SANJAY: Oh.
EDWARD: Yeah.
SANJAY: You should.
EDWARD: Yeah. I will.
SANJAY: Maybe when it comes to the video store.
EDWARD: Mm-hmm.
SANJAY: (pause) It’s interesting. That movie. You know. (pause) In a way, I watched it almost like I was a second self. Do you know what I mean?
EDWARD: No. How?
SANJAY: Well, almost like I was experiencing the movie through the eyes of my children. I saw it with my children—Biffy and Magpie—and they simply loved it. But I’ve never been much on fantasy myself. But I watched it, and really enjoyed it, but I wonder if it wasn’t because I was sitting right next to them.
EDWARD: Right.
SANJAY: Sort of vicariously absorbing the experience with them as a medium. I don’t know what you would call it—reliving my childhood. Or that rare experience of being part of something with more than one person, like you take on a multiple consciousness, this crowd consciousness. Almost like a mob mentality, but in a positive manner. (pause) It was odd. Have you ever had anything like that happen to you?
EDWARD: No.
SANJAY: (pause) Oh.
EDWARD: (pause) There was this one time… (pause) No, that was entirely different. But still. You know.
SANJAY: Yes?
EDWARD: I do plan on seeing it on video.


For more of this great story, buy Edward Fancy and Sanjay Choktan’s
My Dinner with Sanjay: The Screenplay


Quote of the Day
“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it must be Microsoft's new Futuretron 3000 Duck Simulator. That's almost a duck!”

-Rodney Cheesesteak
Fortune 500 Cookie
When kicking out at opponents this week, aim for the nuts—always a good strategy. It's time to let that baby shark go home to its mama; it's been two years and you've got to take a bath sometime. Look forward this week to a final showdown with your mortal nemesis, Weezer. But watch out for the Rentals to intervene.


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