03/31/26
Like a friend you don't deserve
|  Vaginal Scrape!by Lindsay Green   February 9, 2004 Vaginal scrape!
Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be gynecotacular! That thing's going to be clean enough To host a picnic inside, I tell you what. Health inspectors will declare "It's spotless in there!" Mark my words and word to Mark: It's gonna whistle when I run! Everybody's gonna ask, "What's up Lindsay? You sound like a rusty swingset today!" I could tell them why but I just won't say I'm just gonna smile and wink Like a sly fox with a nice clean pink... You know. Because it's my secret (me and the lucky ducks who've read my poem, that is!) Scrape off that nasty plaque, Dr. Squeak. Break out the masonry trowel or whatever You gotta use to lose those blues! (Though I think he might have to use the chimney brush since I haven't been in a while) Quote of the Day“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, even more shame on you! Big fooler. Fool me three times… man, that brings back memories. Reminds me of when you made me drink that urine one time.”-Vick-O Martini Fortune 500 CookieThat heart attack medicine may be making your penis smaller, so just for safety's sake, stop taking it altogether. Learn to play the guitar this week; it's just another good reason to carry out that plan to kidnap Dweezil Zappa. Remember, passing gas in an elevator is not only rude, it also slows down your arrival time by up to 2 seconds.Try again later. Top 5 News-Filler Stories
 Fuckin' Cold It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04) I Bought This Memory I bought this memory at Walgreens, it was discounted heavily. With it implanted I settled back to enjoy my reverie. But to my dismay I soon realized why this memory had been spurned. It was of eating a stale club sandwich whose mayonnaise... (1/12/04) Glass I I once had a glass I and in case you're reading this out loud to someone I feel the need to clarify. Not a glass eye as in an eyeball made of glass, a creepy hazel doodad staring frozen in impasse. Nor some tricky eye-sized marble ... (12/22/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.