08/9/26
We'll put this sword away when you tell us where the monkey is
|  Vaginal Scrape!by Lindsay Green   February 9, 2004 Vaginal scrape!
Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be gynecotacular! That thing's going to be clean enough To host a picnic inside, I tell you what. Health inspectors will declare "It's spotless in there!" Mark my words and word to Mark: It's gonna whistle when I run! Everybody's gonna ask, "What's up Lindsay? You sound like a rusty swingset today!" I could tell them why but I just won't say I'm just gonna smile and wink Like a sly fox with a nice clean pink... You know. Because it's my secret (me and the lucky ducks who've read my poem, that is!) Scrape off that nasty plaque, Dr. Squeak. Break out the masonry trowel or whatever You gotta use to lose those blues! (Though I think he might have to use the chimney brush since I haven't been in a while) Quote of the Day“Don't run if you can walk. Don't walk if you can stand. Don't stand if you can sit. Don't sit if you can lie down. Don't like down if you can sleep. Don't sleep if you can be put into a medically induced coma. Don't be put into a medically induced coma if you can kick back in an iron lung and have machines shit for you. Don't do any of that if golf is on TV.”-Lazy Larry Lisbaine Fortune 500 CookieYou're gonna die this week. Sorry we couldn't put a more clever spin on that. In the meantime, try pouring sugar on your cereal instead of milk. Fuck it, what's anybody gonna do about it now? If it's any consolation, almost everyone in the world doesn't know you're alive anyway. This week's lucky coffin models: Dirt Rocket III, Econo-Sarcophagus Jr, The Spruce Moose, Office Max Moving Box Model 223117, The Bobsled to Hell, Spring-Loaded Jokester's Delight, Seventh Generation Biodegradable Grandma Sack, foot locker in your ex-boyfriend's closet.Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
 Fuckin' Cold It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04) I Bought This Memory I bought this memory at Walgreens, it was discounted heavily. With it implanted I settled back to enjoy my reverie. But to my dismay I soon realized why this memory had been spurned. It was of eating a stale club sandwich whose mayonnaise... (1/12/04) Glass I I once had a glass I and in case you're reading this out loud to someone I feel the need to clarify. Not a glass eye as in an eyeball made of glass, a creepy hazel doodad staring frozen in impasse. Nor some tricky eye-sized marble ... (12/22/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.