01/22/26
All we are is ducks in the wind
|  Vaginal Scrape!by Lindsay Green   February 9, 2004 Vaginal scrape!
Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be gynecotacular! That thing's going to be clean enough To host a picnic inside, I tell you what. Health inspectors will declare "It's spotless in there!" Mark my words and word to Mark: It's gonna whistle when I run! Everybody's gonna ask, "What's up Lindsay? You sound like a rusty swingset today!" I could tell them why but I just won't say I'm just gonna smile and wink Like a sly fox with a nice clean pink... You know. Because it's my secret (me and the lucky ducks who've read my poem, that is!) Scrape off that nasty plaque, Dr. Squeak. Break out the masonry trowel or whatever You gotta use to lose those blues! (Though I think he might have to use the chimney brush since I haven't been in a while) Quote of the Day“the commune is back? All right! Wait, what the fuck is the commune? What? Now I’m going to kick your ass for getting me excited for nothing.”-Ron Tangley Fortune 500 CookieThis is the week everything changes for you. Yep, even those underwear. Go get a spatula. We all agree that your breasts are attractive, but usually a guy needs a follow-up act to really reel in the ladies. Try learning to play the lute this week, just carrying it around isn’t impressing anyone. This week’s lucky fuckers: Fucker G. Robinson (the world’s second-richest and seventh-most-Try again later. Top 5 News-Filler Stories
 Fuckin' Cold It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04) I Bought This Memory I bought this memory at Walgreens, it was discounted heavily. With it implanted I settled back to enjoy my reverie. But to my dismay I soon realized why this memory had been spurned. It was of eating a stale club sandwich whose mayonnaise... (1/12/04) Glass I I once had a glass I and in case you're reading this out loud to someone I feel the need to clarify. Not a glass eye as in an eyeball made of glass, a creepy hazel doodad staring frozen in impasse. Nor some tricky eye-sized marble ... (12/22/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.