08/10/26
Ugly like an Eskimo, but fun at parties
|  Vaginal Scrape!by Lindsay Green   February 9, 2004 Vaginal scrape!
Me! Today! Hot damn hot damn, get out of my way! I've got a date with Mr. Goodtimes. And the raindrops can't hit my ass Because I'm moving too fast. Take me home, Doctor Proctor. The evening shall be gynecotacular! That thing's going to be clean enough To host a picnic inside, I tell you what. Health inspectors will declare "It's spotless in there!" Mark my words and word to Mark: It's gonna whistle when I run! Everybody's gonna ask, "What's up Lindsay? You sound like a rusty swingset today!" I could tell them why but I just won't say I'm just gonna smile and wink Like a sly fox with a nice clean pink... You know. Because it's my secret (me and the lucky ducks who've read my poem, that is!) Scrape off that nasty plaque, Dr. Squeak. Break out the masonry trowel or whatever You gotta use to lose those blues! (Though I think he might have to use the chimney brush since I haven't been in a while) Quote of the Day“The stars at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas! Except near Houston, Dallas or Fort Worth. Talk about your smog. Jesus, this song's gonna need another verse.”-Clement B. Doogle Fortune 500 CookieMama said there'd be days like this, but the bitch lied. The success or failure of this coming week hinges on your proper understanding of the word "gonad," so take our advice and go buy a dictionary now, Skippy. Order lots of Chinese food this week, but don't pick it up. This week's lucky accidents: back-flip off ladder onto hardwood floor, lip caught on drain while bathtub's full, wearing flammable jumpsuit to Great White concert, 15 car pile-up.Try again later. Top 5 commune Features This Week
 Fuckin' Cold It's cold outside Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. ... (1/26/04) I Bought This Memory I bought this memory at Walgreens, it was discounted heavily. With it implanted I settled back to enjoy my reverie. But to my dismay I soon realized why this memory had been spurned. It was of eating a stale club sandwich whose mayonnaise... (1/12/04) Glass I I once had a glass I and in case you're reading this out loud to someone I feel the need to clarify. Not a glass eye as in an eyeball made of glass, a creepy hazel doodad staring frozen in impasse. Nor some tricky eye-sized marble ... (12/22/03)            |
Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.