05/19/26
Ugly like an Eskimo, but fun at parties
|  Fuckin' Coldby Dixon LaRue   January 26, 2004 It's cold outside
Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. No actually it's because the sun Is two-timing us with China Over there shining up the place Making everybody warm and happy While we scrape ice off a dead caribou's eyeballs. Those Chineses Sit and bitch about the heat In their silly language While our screams are drowned out By the wind That's colder than a penguin's cold white taint. The sun's over there Laughing it's Chinese-loving ass off at you While you've got snow down your butt crack And your car's frozen to the garage. Nice deal, huh? Well that's winter, baby. Also there's the cruel tilt of the earth That always makes sure We get the shit end of the sun stick, Shunted off like the globe's redheaded stepchild Right to the back of the bus. So it's cold Colder than a witch's tit Colder than a Polish monkey's ass in December So cold you can hear your balls clattering together, no kidding. So cold you go blind because your brain Is diverting all excess blood to your lungs So you can scream "Holy shit!" You can scream all you want But you ain't getting any ice cream. Quote of the Day“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, even more shame on you! Big fooler. Fool me three times… man, that brings back memories. Reminds me of when you made me drink that urine one time.”-Vick-O Martini Fortune 500 CookieThat heart attack medicine may be making your penis smaller, so just for safety's sake, stop taking it altogether. Learn to play the guitar this week; it's just another good reason to carry out that plan to kidnap Dweezil Zappa. Remember, passing gas in an elevator is not only rude, it also slows down your arrival time by up to 2 seconds.Try again later. Top T.V. Shows
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Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.