02/3/26
Show us where the bad man touched you
|  Fuckin' Coldby Dixon LaRue   January 26, 2004 It's cold outside
Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. No actually it's because the sun Is two-timing us with China Over there shining up the place Making everybody warm and happy While we scrape ice off a dead caribou's eyeballs. Those Chineses Sit and bitch about the heat In their silly language While our screams are drowned out By the wind That's colder than a penguin's cold white taint. The sun's over there Laughing it's Chinese-loving ass off at you While you've got snow down your butt crack And your car's frozen to the garage. Nice deal, huh? Well that's winter, baby. Also there's the cruel tilt of the earth That always makes sure We get the shit end of the sun stick, Shunted off like the globe's redheaded stepchild Right to the back of the bus. So it's cold Colder than a witch's tit Colder than a Polish monkey's ass in December So cold you can hear your balls clattering together, no kidding. So cold you go blind because your brain Is diverting all excess blood to your lungs So you can scream "Holy shit!" You can scream all you want But you ain't getting any ice cream. Milestones1996: Red Bagel fires entire commune staff during "Crazy Bagel's Everything Must Go Liquidation Madness" phase of the commune's August Sale-abration. Analysts praise Bagel for ridding his staff of junkies and losers, who he promptly replaces with the current batch of junkies and losers.Now HiringBloodhound. Needed to track down former commune staffer Smilin' Jack Costello, who disappeared in May, still owing $8 to the office petty cash fund. Smart dog needed who is not fooled by turbans or overly distracted by running foxes. Generous wages to be paid in beef kidneys.Top Shocking New Barry Bonds Allegations
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Reproduction in hole or in parts without permission is likely to piss off her dad big time.