![]() Fuckin' Coldby Dixon LaRue ![]() ![]() January 26, 2004 It's cold outside
Fuckin' cold Like a snowman's icy balls Like a dead Eskimo stuck to a flag pole Up in Ugunumtwat, Alaska. That cold. Why does it get so cold? Because God don't love you no more Charlie. Suck on that for a while. No actually it's because the sun Is two-timing us with China Over there shining up the place Making everybody warm and happy While we scrape ice off a dead caribou's eyeballs. Those Chineses Sit and bitch about the heat In their silly language While our screams are drowned out By the wind That's colder than a penguin's cold white taint. The sun's over there Laughing it's Chinese-loving ass off at you While you've got snow down your butt crack And your car's frozen to the garage. Nice deal, huh? Well that's winter, baby. Also there's the cruel tilt of the earth That always makes sure We get the shit end of the sun stick, Shunted off like the globe's redheaded stepchild Right to the back of the bus. So it's cold Colder than a witch's tit Colder than a Polish monkey's ass in December So cold you can hear your balls clattering together, no kidding. So cold you go blind because your brain Is diverting all excess blood to your lungs So you can scream "Holy shit!" You can scream all you want But you ain't getting any ice cream. Quote of the Day“To dream the impossible dream… to really step on my own bottom lip while being smacked on the ass by Gary Busey riding a unicycle. Yes, this is quite impossible.”-Don Key Hoyt Fortune 500 CookieRead a book today: It's like bran for your head. Hate music? Buy J-Lo's new album and really feed that feeling. You'll finally get over that hump this Wednesday; that dog's never coming back to you anyway. You finally get your proof you're an American institution when six inmates escape from your ass. Lucky numbers are all square roots of –1.Try again later. Best-Selling Video Games
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